WE HAVE THEM!
It’s hard to believe it’s been just about a year since we
began our adoption journey. Some days it
seems like yesterday…others, it feels like eons….kind of like marriage. I’ve
heard other people say that, of course…I wouldn’t know…we savor each and every
moment of our almost 17-50 years…whatever it’s been.
Regardless, after a midnight arrival Sunday night (left our
house at 4:30 on Friday), we found ourselves at the Civil Affairs Office at
10:00 am Monday for our “Gotcha Day.” So
many emotions…so little time…or words…or even meaning. I’m not sure what I expected exactly, but it
was something in line with bursting through the doors…our children eagerly
awaiting our arrival would leap from the arms of their caregivers...would run
into our outstretched arms…screaming “Mommy! Daddy! We’ve been waiting for
you!!!” (in English, of course…because they’d been studying)…we’d scoop them up
and ride off into the proverbial sunset.
Yea…pretty much what I’d envisioned.
I was just a bit off. We did see
some scooping up…but it wasn’t by us…and absolutely none of my other dreams
came true. I blame Hollywood.
We sat there and watched two other families with their new
children…for roughly an hour. I began to think this had all been a bad dream…until
they finally walked through the door. I still thought, on some level, that the
idea I had would still come true…minus them waiting for us. After all, we’d spent time with them via
skype, they were excited about us coming, they even kept asking their
caregivers, “When will they be here?!?” I absolutely was not prepared to hear
screaming and wailing when they handed them to us. Unfortunately, that’s what
happened. No video-worthy moments we were hoping for…just heartache…on every
side. I could tell the workers were saying
things like, “This is your mommy…go to your mommy…don’t cry for mommy…” Made it
worse. Much worse.
The kids finally allowed us to hold them…still screaming…and
we tried to distract them with our winning personalities. HAHA…even I just
laughed out loud. But I’m not
kidding. We pulled out our patience of
Job, love of Mary, and compassion of Mother Teresa…no joke. Our own bio kids
have never seen, nor would they recognize, these parents. HA…again, laughing
here. We distracted them as best we
could while the government, orphanage, and our guide worked through the
paperwork.
Then another bomb was dropped. They told us that Zoe had just been released
from the hospital…she’d been in there for 3 days…and it was very serious…she
should not travel. She would not be well enough to fly home. My stomach was in
knots. Why in the world would G*d allow
us to get this far and not bring her home. It all seemed like a nightmare. We
kept saying we’re taking her…they kept saying no. They asked if we’d known about her condition
before we came and seemed surprised to hear that we knew about it from the
beginning and still came for her. They just kept saying it was too big of a
risk for her to travel…we kept saying it’s an even bigger risk to leave her
here with no possible hope of recovery. In the midst of all this back and forth
conversation, we were told she’d been admitted because she wasn’t eating and
was vomiting every time she put anything in her mouth…then we were told she had
been admitted because she’d had a heart attack. It’s been back and forth on
that ever since. Honestly, we’re grateful for the heart attack news…even if
it’s possibly inaccurate…because that has caused the adoption agency to kick
into high gear to rush our already-expedited case. The workers weren't sure
we’d handle her medicine correctly and continued to say how vital it was.
(We’ve actually adapted it to some degree so I guess they were right, but we
decided rest was more beneficial than waking her up at 11:30 pm to give another
dose.)
We were finally allowed to take them with us and thankfully,
by that time, they’d warmed up to us, to some degree. Our ideas of munching on
noodles and swinging at the playground all day was also trashed…we made a trip
to several markets for food, toys, and strollers (yes, you heard me), talked to
a pharmacist about portable oxygen possibilities, and grabbed lunch at a local
noodle joint…Henan is famous for their noodles…who knew? We then added on a
photo opp for the passports. The key in understanding our day is to throw in
weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth to every situation…then you’ve pretty
much nailed it. Zoe wanted nothing to do
with change…so anytime she had to swap parents, or any adult, she would go
nuts. Contrary to our normal parenting philosophies, we’ve had to give her
whatever she wants in order to keep her calm, in regard to her heart. Zane is a wild man…W.I.L.D. He does not
appreciate being told no nor denied his independence in any way. That may sound like any toddler, but this
would definitely be a first for us to this extreme. Add in there the fact that they both gabber
constantly in Chinese…which we obviously don’t understand…so they were very
frustrated and upset with us. (We didn’t
think they had much of a vocabulary at this point…wrong again.)
We did have some funny moments…or I did at least! J Chris was pretty much
assigned to Little Man duty as Zoe insisted on Mommy time. When we were walking through the grocery
store, Zane was knocking things off the shelf with his outstretched arm as
Chris, holding him, walked by…cracking up at his own awesomeness. When Daddy would put him down to try to pick
things up, he would take off at break-neck speeds that would impress the best
Olympian. Our guide said on more than
one occasion that the orphanage said he was “very naughty”…she just kept
saying, “He’s crazy!” J
Suffice it to say, watching Daddy with Zane brought the rest of us more than a
few giggles. I also had a “moment.”
While we were grabbing some fruit, I kept saying “thank you” in Chinese to the
workers bagging our goodies. I thought
it a bit odd the looks I was getting until I asked our guide. Apparently the Chinese people don’t
appreciate strangers asking for a kiss in the produce section. Yea. Take heed. Regardless, with the situation with Zoe, the
laughs were a welcome break…so we were grateful.
We spent the evening in our hotel room with the kids playing
with their toys and resting. Zoe actually fell asleep on me…which was a sweet
relief from the day. We had a surprise
visitor that knew the children well. The
kids were excited to see him, and we were thrilled to hear English, as well as
feel encouraged by this one living in the trenches, fighting the good fight
daily. He thanked us for giving Zoe “a
chance”…powerful words.
Being too exhausted to do much else, we had a feast of
bananas and bread. Yes, Mommy had peanut butter on my banana. No, she did not share. Some things are just going
too far…further than China, apparently.
We ended the day with the realization that the life of the
party, Zane, does not…under any circumstance…enjoy bath time. Zoe, however, seemed completely fine. I vowed
that she’ll have baths nightly…his will be optional. The times…they are a’changin’.
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