Our older kids have gotten pretty comfy with the nursing staff at the PICU...Peyton even donned the gloves and helped put the labs in the drop box with Zoe's nurse, and she and Ty were able to help with some chapstick and lotion. They really enjoyed being involved in some way, rather than sitting around watching the paint dry.
They've also begun asking questions directly to the nurses, bypassing us altogether! Traitors.
One particularly sad moment was when Ty asked our nurse, Jenny, "SO...will Zoe be able to wake up after they get her off that machine on Tuesday?" Choosing her words carefully, Jenny replied, "Well, not really buddy. She'll have to get her chest closed back up after a couple days, and then we have to wean her off of most of these meds right here. (Pointing to an insurmountable slew of drips hanging on a giant tree of medicine.) If I had to guess, I'd say it'll probably be another couple weeks!" Not gonna lie...we all stopped dead in our tracks. Weeks?!? Before she even wakes up?!?!? What happened to our entire stay being 2 weeks?!? Yea...that option has come and gone...guess that probably flew out the window with the first complication...but we're naive...what can I say...
As a matter of fact, as I headed out of the PICU Sunday night, I ran into one of the main docs and decided to ask some follow-up questions. She kind of walked through various things before I asked her about what Jenny had said. Then I added, "So the plan for us to go home in 2 weeks has kind of gone up in smoke at this point, right?" She actually couldn't hide the scoff and said, "Did somebody actually TELL you that?!?" K...I apparently need to get a 3rd and 4th opinion next time...you'd think I'd start asking for clarifications at this point in my life instead of living in the world I affectionately refer to as, "Happy Ignoramousland." Yes, I just made that up...I'd not suggest calling me that anytime soon. You've had fair warning.
We did have some happy times last weekend too! As always, one of the Carr girls' favorite things to do together is sing. We love it...Zoe loves it...it's all good. Initially, we were told by one of the nurses that she couldn't really hear us so even though we still sang a bit here and there, it seemed pointless. On Saturday, however, Jenny told us that although she would not likely be able to remember us singing to her while she was "sleeping," she could definitely hear us right now...but was just kind of in a haze. Holla!!! This shall forevermore be known as the day there was singing in the PICU...whether they liked it or not! We sang kids' songs (Zoe's favs), we sang our favorite songs, we sang some Broadway tunes, and we sang goofy songs like, "My Heart Will Go On"...nice, Landry...:) This, of course, quickly led our warped children to think of every song having to do with bleeding, blood, heart, etc...with which we seranaded poor Zoe and her trapped nursing staff. Sick, twisted humor...I know...but admit it...right now, you're trying to come up with one, too...just go ahead and belt it on out there...Zoe would laugh...I promise you that. We just sang and sang...music truly does reach into your soul and brings healing sometimes...God designed it to do so. God loved our singing as much as Zoe...and since you aren't able to get validation from either one, you'll have to just take my word for it!
One of the funnier moments was when Landry started singing in her fake opera voice, and we looked out and saw Dr. Divaker meeting with a host of other docs...who all stopped what they were doing to save lives and all, and turned toward Zoe's room in shock. It was one of those, "we point at Zoe, she points back at us" moments...take one for the team, Zoe...just take one for the team.
Besides the actual singing, which I will always treasure along with Zoe as we watch the videos back someday, my favorite moment came a few days after everyone went back home to go back to school. One of the sweet nurses, Barb...please, please, please ask me her last name!!!! Are you ready?!? Walters. For reals. It was all I could do, I tell ya...all I could do.... Anyway, she came up to me and said, "When are your kids coming back up here? We absolutely LOVE all the singing and laughter and joy that follows you all around!! This place can be so heavy at times...we just really love it!" I was so moved and grateful that God allowed us to use something we already thouroughly enjoy doing, to make some sort of impact for Him. He's just really cool like that. Now I don't think it's appropriate for us to now go room-to-room in the PICU...the Carr Ride Hits the Road Tour...as Peyton suggested (God love her), but what an incredible blessing to know that even a joyful spirit sometimes is just the thing that the Lord will use to draw someone to Himself...and it's a good thing, too, because that harmony on the 3rd song really tanked...
Eva, someone recently asked for a prayer request for your daughter and after reading through some of your posts my heart just aches for you. I have been lifting Zoe up in prayer that the Lord may work through the hands of the PICU staff to heal your daughters heart. Praying that He will lower those pressures and stabilize her fragile body. Most of all praying for your whole family while you endure this. Please let us all know if there is anything we can do from afar. But know there are families everywhere praying for your sweet baby girl!
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