Injury of the Century...Part 2

So early the next morning before I woke up, Tom and Chris headed out to get all my prescriptions and medical gear.  They came back with a rib brace, neck brace, muscle relaxer, and pain reliever. Awesome. Of course, after a painful night's sleep, I was grateful for anything that would provide relief.

First things first...shower.  Remember the night before? Swamp land...sweltering heat...collision...4-5 hours in an ER.  I needed a shower in the worst way...but this presented a whole host of problems with my dangling leg, bowling ball head perched on a paper thin set of tendons, and a cracked rib which made every move difficult.

I dosed up on pain meds to cope with moving around, and Nicolette helped get me set in the bathroom. Again, you have to understand how incredibly private I was at the time to appreciate the gravity of simple statements like that.  I grew up in a pastor's home with 4 older brothers...anything "girl" related never really made it into table talk. All I can say is that if you think I'm easily embarrassed now by words, topics, or situations...you should have seen me then, pre-marriage!

Task completed, I made my way out of the bathroom, took my muscle relaxer, and eased down onto the floor propping myself against the wall so I could start the long process of combing out my wet hair. (1995...my hair was long and big...mid-back...and almost as wide) Chris was sitting on the couch watching ESPN...shocker. Tom and Nicolette were in the kitchen making tacos for lunch. (Gotta set the stage for the next catastrophe!)

I started feeling very odd...like my arms were weighted down with bricks (I assumed this was what the muscle relaxer felt like)...and I started feeling super sick to my stomach. (This is the one and only time I've ever felt sick at the thought of tacos.) It felt like a 100 degrees in the house now, and I realized that I was having a hard time catching a breath (which of course I attributed to the cracked rib). I have a degree in "explain your symptoms away-ness"!

I needed to get to the bathroom before I puked all over their carpet, but when I went to stand up, I realized my legs weren't responding! I tried to call for Chris, but nothing would come out! The Phillips weren't noticing anything as they were busy cooking...and Chris? Did I mention ESPN?!? Weren't you listening?

I realized I was going to have to get myself to the bathroom in any way possible. I had fallen over to my side when trying to get up so I turned onto my stomach and began to do the army crawl to the bathroom. Go ahead. Picture it. Won't hurt my feelings. Live it up.  Read it out loud to your children. Free entertainment.

I barely got to the bathroom before collapsing with a thud...which must've caught Tom's attention because he came running in there screaming "Chris, get in here!" (It bares mentioning that he had to holler for my husband-to-be...just saying...)  Next thing I know, he and Chris are leaning over me...on the floor of the bathroom...freaking out. I feel the liberty to say so because of what happened next! Chris lifted up my arm and said, "Her fingers are turning blue!" (In case you're wondering, I hadn't taken a breath since beginning the now-famous crawl.) Upon which Tom shouts, "She can't breathe...get her some water!!!" Don't make me type it again...just read that back. The next thing I know, Tom is pouring water into my mouth, which I'm unable to swallow...so it's now pouring out of my mouth all over my face. Seriously. More yelling, more panic, more limb-coloring.

Finally the voice of calm and reason says from the kitchen, "I already called 911...they're here." (There had to be a hero...Nicolette.)

So here we go again...only this time in an ambulance...with no future spouse-slapping. You could definitely say the hospital anxiety amped up as I now experienced paramedic care, oxygen, and an explanation of an unknown allergy to muscle relaxers. More time in the same ER followed.

The only odd detail I remember that night was the hilarious question Nicolette asked to make me smile...

"How come none of these doctors look like Dr Green or George Clooney?!?