Be inspired...I dare you

Inspired.


That's the word I've heard a great deal over these past several months since the word has been out about our adoption...that our story, our family, and this journey has been inspiring. While I pray every single use of the word has drawn people to the ultimate adoptive parent, I thought I pass along this little nugget just to set aside any adoption "halo" rumors. Trust me...go ahead and buckle up!


TIMELINE: Move to Iowa Dec 30...move into house Dec 31...attend church Jan. 1...MUST go out and buy school supplies (mid-year because the old ones were "disgusting") Jan 2...for school that will begin following day, Jan 3.


SETTING: Burlington Big Lots...because I refused to pay any more than I must given the fact that this was the second installment of said supplies in one year...have I mentioned that already??? Windiest day you've ever experienced or even imagined.


CHARACTERS: Mother-of-the-Year and her 4 children...who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent.


After the traumatic move to a new state, I once again made the laughable assertion that..."I am the mother of these children...and I can handle taking them to the store...any store...for any reason...to accomplish any goal whatsoever!" HA! So there we stand...in the one aisle of school supplies to gather all the necessary items. I really was...initially...trying to be upbeat and positive to get the kids excited about jumping right into their new school the next day. (We were still very much reeling from the transition, and I wanted them to begin seeing the positive. ha.) It all went south quickly, however, as one by one, every complaint (in the history of complaints) was laid out for all of Big Lots to hear.


Multiple trips to the bathroom because a couple children were literally sick about the whole deal. Many subsequent rescue expeditions to the same location. Certain child plotting massive injury to avoid going to school...to which I replied that I'd take them to the ER...then drive them to school. Significant lack of supplies needed. Irrational responses when told that we would not be purchasing $2 notebooks when $.10 notebooks would do the same job. I mean, seriously....I didn't even win them over with my suggestion that I blow up a picture of myself and glue to the front of the plain one...bam! $2 value...and a one-of-a-kind original! Or when I talked about the kids in Africa that would be very happy to have any paper at all, thank you very much!


You can imagine the level of anxiety in aisle 6 that day after 2 hours of this mayhem. Of course, it was also super awesome when Chris called and said, "You're still there?!?" Yes dear. Still. Thanks for checking.


We fight the wind...literally...to stay in contact with EARTH...and make our way to van. I look up and realize that all the kids are tucked safe and snug in the vehicle, leaving mom to fend for herself. Here's where it gets real interesting.


Mom pounds on window and demands eldest son get out and help with bags and cart. He's also told to get the cart into the receptacle. He runs the cart over and gives it a good shove over the curb of the return. Mom assumes the loud bang is the cart smacking into the other carts. Not so. Out of the corner of her eye, Mom sees this same cart flying across the parking lot...did I mention the wind?!? Mom starts yelling...not the first time that day...for eldest son, who's already returned to van, to chase after cart that is now almost air born. After an unsuccessful attempt of cart vs. boy, he jumps back in van and joins the chaotic shouting of all children and mother as they try to catch runaway cart! Eldest son continues to protest his guilt as Mom continues to talk about work ethic and responsibility. Picture in your mind, if you will, van filled with screaming family chasing a grocery cart...which only by the grace of God,  hits nothing...because no one else is attempting such an expedition.


After seeing that the cart has stopped moving, we decide to leave it alone (I know, right) and go ahead and cross the street to meet Dad for lunch...at 2 pm. While sitting at the stoplight, Mom again notices this possessed cart shoot out from nowhere, jump the curb, and head straight into oncoming traffic. Not kidding. The situation could even have been salvageable had the cart continued through the two westbound lanes and land in the median. Evidently the wind decided it'd had enough of a workout that day because Mr Cart stopped dead in the middle of those two lanes. Cars were whipping around it to avoid an accident.


You really can't make this stuff up...and as we are all sitting there watching this happen, I realize I need to do something to set this whole morning right. From my impatience, my temper, my attitude, blah, blah, blah...start to finish...mother of the year is out the window. SO...I take a deep breath, throw the van into reverse, and start driving over to the scene of the crime. As I explain to the kids that I have to do something before someone gets hurt...before we CAUSE an accident...a whole new chaotic screaming begins..."NO MOM...DON'T DO IT...YOU COULD GET HIT BY A CAR...SOMEONE WILL SEE US...YOU'RE GONNA DIE...etc"...you get the point.


I jump out...and run down into the street from the parking lot...stopping traffic like any good impromptu traffic cop would do. I make my way to the middle of the two lanes and grab ahold of that psycho cart. What could only be described as the salt in the proverbial wound, I look up to see all the drivers of the stopped vehicles CHEERING for me. You heard me...cheering, mouthing "thank you," honking horns to show love, blowing kisses...you name it. Mother of the year turned hero. But sense it would be rude to ignore them, I nodded my acceptance of the accolades and began running with the cart. Had to run...because our friend, Mr Wind, was back for a visit...so I had to run...all the way past the waiting cars and up the driveway to the parking lot.


I look up and realize...man...we are pretty far away from Big Lots...plus Mr Cart clearly wants to find a new home. SO...I run it over to the big curb (where another BL cart is lying on its side...having most definitely committed the same atrocities) and kicked it over onto the grass so it's rolling days were over.


Mom breathlessly shoves weary body back into the van and observes eldest child in fetal position saying things like, "GO GO GO!" and "I'M SO EMBARRASSED!" Looking back, Mom sees two middle children biting their lips for all they're worth not to bust out laughing...remember there had been much yelling and tension up to this point.


It was all too much. Mom lets loose with uncontrollable laughter...followed promptly by the children...including the statement, "...did you see those people cheering you on?!?!? That was the best part!!! Maybe you should've yelled out, 'MY BAD!'" Tons of laughter...which was exactly what we needed...interrupted only by the youngest child's exclamation, "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" He apparently missed the whole thing, start to finish, because he was engrossed in some electronic gadget.


More laughter...the kind that hurts to your core...best antidote for what was ailing us.


There you have it. Inspiring, eh?