SCC…Part 3

Read her book, he said…you'll really enjoy it, he said. SCC, I thought we were friends.

Just wanted to share one last notable thing that came from our time with Steven Curtis Chapman…

At one point in our conversation, we began to talk about the good intentions of people that don't always comfort, including all the books on grief that we should be reading…thanks but no thanks…at least not yet.

Towards the end of our time together, he kinda chuckled and said something to this effect, "I know this is laughable considering everything we've already talked about, but you really should get Mary Beth's (Chapman momma) book. I feel like you are two peas in a pod, and it might be helpful to see how she processed through all this." We laughed at the irony of his suggestion, but I tucked it away for later consideration.

As much as SCC suggested that MB and I were equally transparent, I decided that I should follow through on reading her book. SO…I used an old gift certificate that I'd been sitting on for 2 years (what are the chances?) and ordered Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman. All I can say is this…Eva seems like a vault of secrets and emotions compared to this sister from another mister. Wow. I was in awe of her honesty in all areas of life, not just with the death of Maria.

There are so many similarities between the Chapman's Maria and our sweet Zoe, but the most remarkable one for me is that Maria died on May 21st. The last time we heard Zoe's sweet giggle and saw her beautiful smile? May 21st. Just let that sink in.

A chilling excerpt from the book…

"They took us to a small room beyond the ER. The doctors who had worked on Maria were there, along with several nurses. They told us that while they had done everything they could, Maria had, in fact, passed away…Steven cried, 'God, breathe life into Maria! You can bring her back to life! Please bring her back to life!' He knew God could do that if He chose to. I knew that too. But something inside me also knew that God had healed Maria in a way we didn't want…Somehow in that unthinkable moment it became clear to Steven and me that we were standing at the very door of heaven, placing our little girl carefully in the arms of Jesus, desperately trusting that she would be safe there until we could come and join her."

Yea…and then this…a note written to Steven…

"Take my hand…that's really it! All we can do is to grab hands, hold tight, and start taking steps! It feels like we are walking into hurricane-force winds, but maybe, just maybe if we hold tight to each other, and then tie ourselves to the Creator of the hurricane in the first place, we will survive the storm that we are surely in! I'm only prepared to say survive…not yet able to see the calm sunshine and beauty that comes after such devastation, but I'm willing to hold on, which in the end is the true meaning of faith and trust. Thanks for helping me and not expecting me to be OK too soon. I'm scared, very scared. I'm holding tight. It's all I know to do."

…and then when Maria's birthday rolled around…

"I'm sad. I'm really, really, catastrophically sad. I'm not sure when it will be better. I guess I will get through this but not ever will I get over it! So I will journey on, knowing that this isn't my home, and that when I reach my journey's end, I will be with Maria longer than I will have been without her."

Just get the book already before I sit here and quote the whole thing. 

Like I said…sister from another mister…or just a kindred spirit who has had her heart handed to her on a silver platter, and she's trying to allow the Healer to put her back together one piece at a time. Sounds familiar.