SCC…Part 1

I feel like my pastor-husband here as I say we are going to take a break from our regularly-scheduled program for a new mini-series. Does this mean he’s been getting his ideas from me all along?!? You didn’t hear that from my lips! The only difference is that my series don’t last over 2 years…ahem…moving on…

Out of the blue last summer, I received a message from a former choir member, Brad Meeder and his wife, Connie. It was such a pleasant and sweet surprise. In short, he asked if I had the Steven Curtis Chapman cd, Beauty Will Rise, that he’d recorded following the death of his 5 yr old daughter, Maria. When I replied that I’d never even heard it, he answered, “It’s on its way to you right now.”

I cannot even begin to tell you the blessing…and sometimes, torture…this cd has been to me. I can’t even. So since I only seem to have incomplete sentences to share, I thought it would be best to let the lyrics speak for themselves. It’s like I’m talking anyway (what with the obvious SCC mind-reading that occurred)…so it’s kinda the same. For sake of time and space, let’s go with the top 3…although I seriously could have suggested all 12 songs. It's that good…and that meaningful in my time of grief. I've included both the links to the songs (simply click on the song title) and the lyrics for you to read. Prepare yourself.

I Will Trust You

I don't even wanna breathe right now
All I wanna do is close my eyes
But I don't wanna open them again
Until I'm standing on the other side

I don't even wanna be right now
I don't wanna think another thought
And I don't wanna feel this pain I feel
And right now, pain is all I've got

It feels like it's all I've got, but I know it's not
No, I know You're all I've got
And I will trust You, I'll trust You
Trust You, God, I will
Even when I don't understand, even then I will say again
You are my God, and I will trust You

God, I'm longing for the day to come
When this cloudy glass I'm looking through
Is shattered in a million pieces
And finally I can just see You

God, You know I believe it's true
I know I will see You
But until the day I do

I will trust You, trust You
Trust You, God, I will
Even when I don't understand
Even then I will say again

You are my God, and I'll trust You

And with every breath I take
And for every day that breaks
I will trust You
I will trust You
And when nothing is making sense

Even then I will say again

God, I trust You
I will trust You
I know Your heart is good
I know Your love is strong
And I know Your plans for me
Are much better than my own

So I will trust You, trust You
I trust You, God, I do
Even when I can't see the end
And I will trust You
I will trust You, I will
Even when I don't understand
Even then I will say again

I will trust You, I will trust You, I will
I know Your heart is good,
Your love is strong,
Your plans for me are better than my own
Yeah, Your heart is good
Your love is strong
Your plans for me are better than my own
And I trust You
You are my God
And I will trust You

Beauty Will Rise

It was the day the world went wrong

I screamed til my voice was gone
And watched through the tears as everything came crashing down
Slowly panic turns to pain
As we awake to what remains
and sift through the ashes that are left behind

But buried deep beneath
All our broken dreams
we have this hope:

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
For we know, joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning, beauty will rise

So take another breath for now,
and let the tears come washing down,
and if you can't believe I will believe for you.

Cuz I have seen the signs of spring!
Just watch and see:

Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
and we will dance among the ruins
We will see Him with our own eyes
Out of these ashes... beauty will rise
For we know, joy is coming in the morning...
in the morning...

I can hear it in the distance
and it's not too far away.
It's the music and the laughter
of a wedding and a feast.
I can almost feel the hand of God reaching for my face
to wipe the tears away, and say,
"It's time to make everything new. Make it all new"

This is our hope.
This is the promise.
This is our hope.
This is the promise.
That it would take our breath away
to see the beauty that's been made
out of the ashes…

Our God is in Control

This is not how it should be
This is not how it could be
This is how it is
And our God is in control

This is not how it will be

When we finally will see
We'll see with our own eyes
He was always in control

And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we're waiting for that day

This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
But this is where we are
And our God is in control

Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see
That our God is in control...

 

 I cried gut-wrenching, torrents of tears the first time I listened to this cd. Chris asked me why I’d do that to myself. All I could say was, and is, “It’s healing my heart.” Maybe that’s because someone else is speaking my language of grief, through the lens of trying to honor God while in the midst of incredible sorrow. Maybe it’s because music always has had the ability to reach straight into my gut. 

Regardless of the reason, if you are living through the weight of the incredible pain of burying your child right now, or know someone who is, get this cd right now and let the healing begin.