It's been awhile...

I know...I know...what's been keeping me away, you ask...you name it, I answer.  From health, to fatigue, to sheer insanity...and everything in between...my late-night blogging sessions had to go.  I've thought about you all a great deal, though, and have been storing away all sorts of things I want to share with you once I have the opportunity. It's a ride, after all...so you can imagine how many pit stops we make along the way!  I'll just leave you to hold me accountable on those other stories...tonight I'll just give you a peek into our journey these past couple weeks.

I mentioned at the end of my last post that Zoe had seemed a little on the decline lately...well, that was 2 weeks ago...and she continued to worsen daily. We stayed in continual contact with Dr. Edens, who was fairly certain it was indeed a viral infection of some sort. We had a few hours, here and there, in which she was somewhat content, but for the most part, she was miserable in every way. She was coughing more, breathing heavier, struggling with sleep at night but would randomly fall asleep sitting up during the day, very irritable, and could barely hold her own head up most of the time. Needless to say, our lives were operating at a dangerously high stress level because a situation like this one affects the family, at large...not just one or two people. 

Finally, last Sunday, I contacted the doctor and said I was no longer comfortable waiting this thing out.  We'd been relying on my intuition as to her decline, and frankly, I needed to not make the call any longer...even if there was nothing wrong...I needed someone else to tell me that. He said we could come see him the next morning, so that's what we did. 

Of course, as is mandated in the child code, Zoe woke up happy...laughing, even...seriously. But...we had the appointment...we were going. Never fails...make the appointment, go to the appointment, spend the rest of the time explaining to the doctor how they've really not been acting this way ANY MOMENT of the past 2 weeks. Should've made the appointment 2 weeks ago. Thankfully, Dr. Edens still checked her out and even decided to run some follow-up tests to make sure she was okay.

The echo showed that her heart was enlarged again...much like it was when we first got home from China. (It had gone down considerably by the time we had the first cath done.) This basically means the heart has started working extra hard again...so it grows...which also means that leaking valve has gone back to pouring, and not just oozing. (My words, not his.) The fluid around the heart and liver has also returned...which is actually the cause for the overworked heart. This means her body has developed a resistance to the medicine we put her on, and we'd have to increase her dosage to jump-start the reduction once more. He said it's actually pretty common for this to happen...just wish we had known that a couple weeks prior...but everything looks different on Zoe than it would most any other children...it's a guessing game, to some degree. They also did some blood work to check for some infections. There were some positive findings and some that were concerning. All in all, she definitely has an infection of some kind in addition to the heart condition. Initially, they believed it to be mono. No joke. I was floored. Poor kid can't catch a break anywhere. Once the tests all came back, they said it wasn't mono but a viral infection much like it. 

Incidentally, her sat was 85, which is great...and she was down to 18 lbs. The weight was pretty surprising because she eats pretty well all the time, but I'm learning not to think about "normal"...there's nothing typical about Zoe.

Within 12 hours of changing the dosage, we again saw a dramatic change in her demeanor and health. We are so grateful we made the adjustment when we did...so thankful the extra fluid won't be a problem when we go back up for her follow-up cath this next Wednesday.

FYI: Zane is doing SO much better with sleeping...he's not nearly as distressed now that we've gotten into a bedtime routine that he's very eager to go through each night. It has helped tremendously. 

We've had quite a few stand-off's...the twins and I...now that health and fears have gotten somewhat under control...it has opened the door to some "training" opportunities. I'll just tell you what I told a friend of mine this week. We're definitely out of the 'honeymoon phase'...what the Z's failed to realize is that, contrary to the health and fear uncertainties where I feel like a fish out of water, this test of wills...this phase of consistency, obedience, and will power...well, this is where I live and feel most "at home." Oh honey...now you're in my realm of parenting...slap a crown on my head and call me Queen Momma because the Carr Castle will be not be overthrown by the rebels. Poor prisoners...never knew what hit 'em! They just stood there...staring at me...like..."who do you think you are???" But eventually, they saw the wisdom in accepting choice A, B, or C...instead of choice...nothing. All is well and right in the kingdom.

We've had many memorable moments this last week...lots of laughter...lots of tears...but we're all stretching and growing as we try to bend and not break...as the Father leads...some of us (ahem...) are more stubborn than others. I'll let you fill in the blank there...be gentle.