Well, I haven't seen you in awhile! What's been happening? Probably same as us...nothing much. Then why am I so tired...because as I look back over the past couple months since we've not spoken, I remember just hurrying. That pretty much sums it up. Hurry. Rush. Get there. Do that. Act happy. Now go back. Change clothes. Go do it again. Quicker. Shower-optional. Don't think. Just do. Don't show emotion. Just pretend.
Unfortunately, after several months of that, you get to Christmas break and all the anticipated time of relaxation and refreshment with your family, and your body just starts to crash...shut down...say g'night Gracie.
You can imagine all the "Mother-of-the-Year" moments I could share from the past chaotic months. You'd feel better about yourself in just about every aspect of your life...I'd probably even laugh at myself...but we'll just save that for another day. (Hopefully, it won't be 2 more months from now, but I'm not making any promises.)
After feeling a good bit like my bosom friend, Anne, in the depths of despair, I thought it best to hash out some reflection on one simple day. December 31st. That day reminds me in a concrete, tangible way...God truly cares about every detail, every person, every tear, every groaning.
12/31/11: We had roughly 30-40 people from our new church unloading 2 giant trucks into every crevice of our rental home in Iowa, including the outbuildings. It was so touching that so many people came to help, most of whom I'd never laid eyes on. We felt loved but also overwhelmed...in every sense of the word.
When all was said and done, there was walking and sleeping room only throughout the entire house...I was tasked with trying to get the family "settled" in two days before school started...trying to understand how we would minister and relate to this group of people we met while standing in a box-moving assembly line...and the more pressing issue was dealing with the family relationships amidst the upheaval of all they'd ever known and the intense weeping that seemed to overtake just about every member of the family at any random moment. Overwhelmed.
It was New Years Eve. We were alone and exhausted...physically, emotionally, and mentally. Daddy said no one was staying up, especially since we had church the next day. Emotions ran wild. Overwhelmed. We were grateful to have Chris' parents with us, but when they left, the floodgates were opened. It truly makes my skin crawl just reliving that day.
12/31/12: Due to some last minute schedule changes, we found ourselves once again traveling to Iowa on this day...crazy. Obviously it was a very different trip...and not because Chris and the boys were leaving for the Iowa/Indiana basketball game as soon as we arrived home! The fear of the unknown was gone, the insecurity of home and health had been tucked away, the fatigue was a happy one. We did the things you do after a long trip...empty the vehicle, unpack suitcases, fight for the bathrooms...you know how it is. And then came the question..."What are we going to do tonight?" Uhhh...uh-oh. We'd had one offer, but the basketball game pretty much took care of that!
I'm so grateful that God provided us, in His wisdom, an evening to ourselves. Initially, it was another reminder of that night one year ago where we were alone. But it ended up being a night of laughter, bonding, fighting (haha...had to be honest! 6 people with their own agenda tend to do that!), and gratefulness. We had a simple dinner, played some Catch Phrase, caught a family flick, and finished up the night watching bits and pieces of musical train wrecks on the NYE tv celebrations...then laid our heads down to rest with nary a box in sight. (To clarify...still have many boxes packed...but they're out of sight!)
Much different than 2011. No gloom and doom...only gratefulness for our family that, while far from perfect, is truly a gift from a loving Father. The same Father that is right there in the middle of our sorrow shows himself smack dab in the center of our joy. He's awesome.
No comments:
Post a Comment