Beating a dead horse...preaching to the choir...however you describe it...that's what I've been doing. Rehashing the same, obvious issue over and over again.
This may shock you...you'd best be sitting down...but I tend toward stubbornness. I know...I know...shock and awe...but try to focus...because maybe you need to be reminded, too.
GOD IS IN CONTROL.
That's it. No rocket science here...but something that's immensely more difficult to understand. We sure try. We try very hard to wrap our minds around this truth of God's sovereignty. But try as we might to grasp it, it remains just out of reach.
I really believe this is largely because we want...and need...God to fit inside the pretty little God-box we've designed especially for Him. We need this because then we can predict just what God's next move will be. We want this because we desperately hate the feeling that things are out of our own control. If He would just operate inside the God-box I made for Him, we'd all be happier...right?!? Uh...no.
Tell the truth. Who wants to give their lives for and follow a God that operates in "Eva-land"?!? Trust me...you don't even want to visit that place...let alone, live there.
So why then, I ask you, do I wrestle against God being in control??? Simple. Stubborn...like "smack-you-over-the-head-with-a-2x4" kind of stubborn. Just keep beating my head against the wall here.
And yet my compassionate Savior sends another gentle reminder of His goodness and grace...and sovereignty. He doesn't shove it in my face...he just shows up with a sweet aroma or kind word...or long-awaited email.
"Congratulations! You've been pre-approved for C!"
5 Months after seeing her sweet face, she has been matched with our family...along with her best friend. This is actually happening. Of course, the road is still long but we've rounded the bend. God has accomplished what couldn't be done by man's standards. Of course He did...because He doesn't fit in my box. Sometimes my box is too pretty...occasionally it's too ugly...often too shaky...always too small.
Miracle after miracle. Is it wrong to expect them? I don't think so. I'm done being surprised by my God. I am even more convinced that He's purposefully directing my path..lighting it up, as a matter of fact...so that others will see Him in the reflection.
...it's all completely and utterly under His control...
It's almost as if He's saying, "Watch out...I've got this."
Saturday, August 4, 2012
"HEY, BLOCKHEAD!"
We're back...back to the same place I so often visit...the land of what-if's and shaky faith. I'm pretty sure I own a vacation condo here.
I mentioned setbacks in the last post, but I omitted the overwhelming doubt with which the enemy began to flood my heart.
"...maybe we are making a mistake...maybe it's not supposed to happen...are we really prepared to deal with everything this means for our family...what if they don't even like us..."
I could go on...I could add an unlimited supply of doubt-filled thoughts...but it all amounts to one reality.
Fear.
Fear of the unknown...fear of the responsibility...fear of the life-threatening conditions and procedures that lie ahead. Then the enemy steps in and seizes the opportunity that my doubt and fear provide, and he creates a crushing weight that he dumps straight onto my shoulders. It's hard to breathe...it's difficult to move...it's almost impossible to look up.
I say "almost impossible" because all along the Almighty One never left...He's right beside me, and without having to lift a finger, He lifts the burden...and then He lifts my gaze to His...and then He says, "Just hang on...to me..!"
This past Monday, we had some new friends come for dinner. These friends have been living in China for several years and have been studying the language. Fluent...that's the word you're looking for. They were willing and excited to come share some of their knowledge with our family.
God did this...right in the midst of my despair.
We sat for quite a while, going through common words/phrases that our two kiddos are used to hearing and will likely be speaking themselves...all so we will be able to communicate immediately with these two precious children.
What a gift.
It was overwhelming...in an amazingly awesome way. Almost immediately, Chinese words were flying around our kitchen table. Things like..."momma, daddy, tired, hungry, banana, little sister, pain, noodles..."
I could barely keep the tears at bay as God said, "See? I'm right here! Don't forget! I started this...I compelled you to do this...I'm still in control...I will give you all you need to love these children as much as I do."
The breathing comes much easier...the sleep, much deeper...and the trust, well, much sweeter.
OH...forgot to mention my favorite new Chinese phrase that we were taught...
"I love you...Jesus loves you."
I plan on using that one the most of all.
I mentioned setbacks in the last post, but I omitted the overwhelming doubt with which the enemy began to flood my heart.
"...maybe we are making a mistake...maybe it's not supposed to happen...are we really prepared to deal with everything this means for our family...what if they don't even like us..."
I could go on...I could add an unlimited supply of doubt-filled thoughts...but it all amounts to one reality.
Fear.
Fear of the unknown...fear of the responsibility...fear of the life-threatening conditions and procedures that lie ahead. Then the enemy steps in and seizes the opportunity that my doubt and fear provide, and he creates a crushing weight that he dumps straight onto my shoulders. It's hard to breathe...it's difficult to move...it's almost impossible to look up.
I say "almost impossible" because all along the Almighty One never left...He's right beside me, and without having to lift a finger, He lifts the burden...and then He lifts my gaze to His...and then He says, "Just hang on...to me..!"
This past Monday, we had some new friends come for dinner. These friends have been living in China for several years and have been studying the language. Fluent...that's the word you're looking for. They were willing and excited to come share some of their knowledge with our family.
God did this...right in the midst of my despair.
We sat for quite a while, going through common words/phrases that our two kiddos are used to hearing and will likely be speaking themselves...all so we will be able to communicate immediately with these two precious children.
What a gift.
It was overwhelming...in an amazingly awesome way. Almost immediately, Chinese words were flying around our kitchen table. Things like..."momma, daddy, tired, hungry, banana, little sister, pain, noodles..."
I could barely keep the tears at bay as God said, "See? I'm right here! Don't forget! I started this...I compelled you to do this...I'm still in control...I will give you all you need to love these children as much as I do."
The breathing comes much easier...the sleep, much deeper...and the trust, well, much sweeter.
OH...forgot to mention my favorite new Chinese phrase that we were taught...
"I love you...Jesus loves you."
I plan on using that one the most of all.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Be inspired...I dare you
Inspired.
That's the word I've heard a great deal over these past several months since the word has been out about our adoption...that our story, our family, and this journey has been inspiring. While I pray every single use of the word has drawn people to the ultimate adoptive parent, I thought I pass along this little nugget just to set aside any adoption "halo" rumors. Trust me...go ahead and buckle up!
TIMELINE: Move to Iowa Dec 30...move into house Dec 31...attend church Jan. 1...MUST go out and buy school supplies (mid-year because the old ones were "disgusting") Jan 2...for school that will begin following day, Jan 3.
SETTING: Burlington Big Lots...because I refused to pay any more than I must given the fact that this was the second installment of said supplies in one year...have I mentioned that already??? Windiest day you've ever experienced or even imagined.
CHARACTERS: Mother-of-the-Year and her 4 children...who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent.
After the traumatic move to a new state, I once again made the laughable assertion that..."I am the mother of these children...and I can handle taking them to the store...any store...for any reason...to accomplish any goal whatsoever!" HA! So there we stand...in the one aisle of school supplies to gather all the necessary items. I really was...initially...trying to be upbeat and positive to get the kids excited about jumping right into their new school the next day. (We were still very much reeling from the transition, and I wanted them to begin seeing the positive. ha.) It all went south quickly, however, as one by one, every complaint (in the history of complaints) was laid out for all of Big Lots to hear.
Multiple trips to the bathroom because a couple children were literally sick about the whole deal. Many subsequent rescue expeditions to the same location. Certain child plotting massive injury to avoid going to school...to which I replied that I'd take them to the ER...then drive them to school. Significant lack of supplies needed. Irrational responses when told that we would not be purchasing $2 notebooks when $.10 notebooks would do the same job. I mean, seriously....I didn't even win them over with my suggestion that I blow up a picture of myself and glue to the front of the plain one...bam! $2 value...and a one-of-a-kind original! Or when I talked about the kids in Africa that would be very happy to have any paper at all, thank you very much!
You can imagine the level of anxiety in aisle 6 that day after 2 hours of this mayhem. Of course, it was also super awesome when Chris called and said, "You're still there?!?" Yes dear. Still. Thanks for checking.
We fight the wind...literally...to stay in contact with EARTH...and make our way to van. I look up and realize that all the kids are tucked safe and snug in the vehicle, leaving mom to fend for herself. Here's where it gets real interesting.
Mom pounds on window and demands eldest son get out and help with bags and cart. He's also told to get the cart into the receptacle. He runs the cart over and gives it a good shove over the curb of the return. Mom assumes the loud bang is the cart smacking into the other carts. Not so. Out of the corner of her eye, Mom sees this same cart flying across the parking lot...did I mention the wind?!? Mom starts yelling...not the first time that day...for eldest son, who's already returned to van, to chase after cart that is now almost air born. After an unsuccessful attempt of cart vs. boy, he jumps back in van and joins the chaotic shouting of all children and mother as they try to catch runaway cart! Eldest son continues to protest his guilt as Mom continues to talk about work ethic and responsibility. Picture in your mind, if you will, van filled with screaming family chasing a grocery cart...which only by the grace of God, hits nothing...because no one else is attempting such an expedition.
After seeing that the cart has stopped moving, we decide to leave it alone (I know, right) and go ahead and cross the street to meet Dad for lunch...at 2 pm. While sitting at the stoplight, Mom again notices this possessed cart shoot out from nowhere, jump the curb, and head straight into oncoming traffic. Not kidding. The situation could even have been salvageable had the cart continued through the two westbound lanes and land in the median. Evidently the wind decided it'd had enough of a workout that day because Mr Cart stopped dead in the middle of those two lanes. Cars were whipping around it to avoid an accident.
You really can't make this stuff up...and as we are all sitting there watching this happen, I realize I need to do something to set this whole morning right. From my impatience, my temper, my attitude, blah, blah, blah...start to finish...mother of the year is out the window. SO...I take a deep breath, throw the van into reverse, and start driving over to the scene of the crime. As I explain to the kids that I have to do something before someone gets hurt...before we CAUSE an accident...a whole new chaotic screaming begins..."NO MOM...DON'T DO IT...YOU COULD GET HIT BY A CAR...SOMEONE WILL SEE US...YOU'RE GONNA DIE...etc"...you get the point.
I jump out...and run down into the street from the parking lot...stopping traffic like any good impromptu traffic cop would do. I make my way to the middle of the two lanes and grab ahold of that psycho cart. What could only be described as the salt in the proverbial wound, I look up to see all the drivers of the stopped vehicles CHEERING for me. You heard me...cheering, mouthing "thank you," honking horns to show love, blowing kisses...you name it. Mother of the year turned hero. But sense it would be rude to ignore them, I nodded my acceptance of the accolades and began running with the cart. Had to run...because our friend, Mr Wind, was back for a visit...so I had to run...all the way past the waiting cars and up the driveway to the parking lot.
I look up and realize...man...we are pretty far away from Big Lots...plus Mr Cart clearly wants to find a new home. SO...I run it over to the big curb (where another BL cart is lying on its side...having most definitely committed the same atrocities) and kicked it over onto the grass so it's rolling days were over.
Mom breathlessly shoves weary body back into the van and observes eldest child in fetal position saying things like, "GO GO GO!" and "I'M SO EMBARRASSED!" Looking back, Mom sees two middle children biting their lips for all they're worth not to bust out laughing...remember there had been much yelling and tension up to this point.
It was all too much. Mom lets loose with uncontrollable laughter...followed promptly by the children...including the statement, "...did you see those people cheering you on?!?!? That was the best part!!! Maybe you should've yelled out, 'MY BAD!'" Tons of laughter...which was exactly what we needed...interrupted only by the youngest child's exclamation, "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" He apparently missed the whole thing, start to finish, because he was engrossed in some electronic gadget.
More laughter...the kind that hurts to your core...best antidote for what was ailing us.
There you have it. Inspiring, eh?
That's the word I've heard a great deal over these past several months since the word has been out about our adoption...that our story, our family, and this journey has been inspiring. While I pray every single use of the word has drawn people to the ultimate adoptive parent, I thought I pass along this little nugget just to set aside any adoption "halo" rumors. Trust me...go ahead and buckle up!
TIMELINE: Move to Iowa Dec 30...move into house Dec 31...attend church Jan. 1...MUST go out and buy school supplies (mid-year because the old ones were "disgusting") Jan 2...for school that will begin following day, Jan 3.
SETTING: Burlington Big Lots...because I refused to pay any more than I must given the fact that this was the second installment of said supplies in one year...have I mentioned that already??? Windiest day you've ever experienced or even imagined.
CHARACTERS: Mother-of-the-Year and her 4 children...who shall remain nameless to protect the innocent.
After the traumatic move to a new state, I once again made the laughable assertion that..."I am the mother of these children...and I can handle taking them to the store...any store...for any reason...to accomplish any goal whatsoever!" HA! So there we stand...in the one aisle of school supplies to gather all the necessary items. I really was...initially...trying to be upbeat and positive to get the kids excited about jumping right into their new school the next day. (We were still very much reeling from the transition, and I wanted them to begin seeing the positive. ha.) It all went south quickly, however, as one by one, every complaint (in the history of complaints) was laid out for all of Big Lots to hear.
Multiple trips to the bathroom because a couple children were literally sick about the whole deal. Many subsequent rescue expeditions to the same location. Certain child plotting massive injury to avoid going to school...to which I replied that I'd take them to the ER...then drive them to school. Significant lack of supplies needed. Irrational responses when told that we would not be purchasing $2 notebooks when $.10 notebooks would do the same job. I mean, seriously....I didn't even win them over with my suggestion that I blow up a picture of myself and glue to the front of the plain one...bam! $2 value...and a one-of-a-kind original! Or when I talked about the kids in Africa that would be very happy to have any paper at all, thank you very much!
You can imagine the level of anxiety in aisle 6 that day after 2 hours of this mayhem. Of course, it was also super awesome when Chris called and said, "You're still there?!?" Yes dear. Still. Thanks for checking.
We fight the wind...literally...to stay in contact with EARTH...and make our way to van. I look up and realize that all the kids are tucked safe and snug in the vehicle, leaving mom to fend for herself. Here's where it gets real interesting.
Mom pounds on window and demands eldest son get out and help with bags and cart. He's also told to get the cart into the receptacle. He runs the cart over and gives it a good shove over the curb of the return. Mom assumes the loud bang is the cart smacking into the other carts. Not so. Out of the corner of her eye, Mom sees this same cart flying across the parking lot...did I mention the wind?!? Mom starts yelling...not the first time that day...for eldest son, who's already returned to van, to chase after cart that is now almost air born. After an unsuccessful attempt of cart vs. boy, he jumps back in van and joins the chaotic shouting of all children and mother as they try to catch runaway cart! Eldest son continues to protest his guilt as Mom continues to talk about work ethic and responsibility. Picture in your mind, if you will, van filled with screaming family chasing a grocery cart...which only by the grace of God, hits nothing...because no one else is attempting such an expedition.
After seeing that the cart has stopped moving, we decide to leave it alone (I know, right) and go ahead and cross the street to meet Dad for lunch...at 2 pm. While sitting at the stoplight, Mom again notices this possessed cart shoot out from nowhere, jump the curb, and head straight into oncoming traffic. Not kidding. The situation could even have been salvageable had the cart continued through the two westbound lanes and land in the median. Evidently the wind decided it'd had enough of a workout that day because Mr Cart stopped dead in the middle of those two lanes. Cars were whipping around it to avoid an accident.
You really can't make this stuff up...and as we are all sitting there watching this happen, I realize I need to do something to set this whole morning right. From my impatience, my temper, my attitude, blah, blah, blah...start to finish...mother of the year is out the window. SO...I take a deep breath, throw the van into reverse, and start driving over to the scene of the crime. As I explain to the kids that I have to do something before someone gets hurt...before we CAUSE an accident...a whole new chaotic screaming begins..."NO MOM...DON'T DO IT...YOU COULD GET HIT BY A CAR...SOMEONE WILL SEE US...YOU'RE GONNA DIE...etc"...you get the point.
I jump out...and run down into the street from the parking lot...stopping traffic like any good impromptu traffic cop would do. I make my way to the middle of the two lanes and grab ahold of that psycho cart. What could only be described as the salt in the proverbial wound, I look up to see all the drivers of the stopped vehicles CHEERING for me. You heard me...cheering, mouthing "thank you," honking horns to show love, blowing kisses...you name it. Mother of the year turned hero. But sense it would be rude to ignore them, I nodded my acceptance of the accolades and began running with the cart. Had to run...because our friend, Mr Wind, was back for a visit...so I had to run...all the way past the waiting cars and up the driveway to the parking lot.
I look up and realize...man...we are pretty far away from Big Lots...plus Mr Cart clearly wants to find a new home. SO...I run it over to the big curb (where another BL cart is lying on its side...having most definitely committed the same atrocities) and kicked it over onto the grass so it's rolling days were over.
Mom breathlessly shoves weary body back into the van and observes eldest child in fetal position saying things like, "GO GO GO!" and "I'M SO EMBARRASSED!" Looking back, Mom sees two middle children biting their lips for all they're worth not to bust out laughing...remember there had been much yelling and tension up to this point.
It was all too much. Mom lets loose with uncontrollable laughter...followed promptly by the children...including the statement, "...did you see those people cheering you on?!?!? That was the best part!!! Maybe you should've yelled out, 'MY BAD!'" Tons of laughter...which was exactly what we needed...interrupted only by the youngest child's exclamation, "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" He apparently missed the whole thing, start to finish, because he was engrossed in some electronic gadget.
More laughter...the kind that hurts to your core...best antidote for what was ailing us.
There you have it. Inspiring, eh?
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Trusting in the Delays
It's hard to trust.
It's even harder to trust when things aren't going your way.
It may be the hardest to trust when nothing is happening whatsoever.
For the most part, that's where we find ourselves.
We were really cooking along with the home study and dossier requirements, items have been sent off for certification and authentication, and application and LOI sent for little C. Those are all listed as though done with ease and without incident...not the case...but it's easier to just shove the past several weeks together for the sake of time and space.
We were then notified that both agencies missed that Chris must have background checks in both states in which he studied while in college. SO...now we jump back several months and dive back into the process and filling out papers and then...waiting.
We've had a good many setbacks over the past month...while still feel like momentum is swinging our way. It's hard to express the ups and downs of the adoption process...just know it's hard to conduct normal routine in the throws of all that is adoption.
So there you have it.
This post isn't going to end with some incredibly inspiring news...just plugging along in the mundane...trying to trust our Father in the midst of the frustrations...knowing that He has a purpose for everything under the sun and that He alone will continue to protect and provide for these two little ones just as He's done every day of their lives thus far.
It's even harder to trust when things aren't going your way.
It may be the hardest to trust when nothing is happening whatsoever.
For the most part, that's where we find ourselves.
We were really cooking along with the home study and dossier requirements, items have been sent off for certification and authentication, and application and LOI sent for little C. Those are all listed as though done with ease and without incident...not the case...but it's easier to just shove the past several weeks together for the sake of time and space.
We were then notified that both agencies missed that Chris must have background checks in both states in which he studied while in college. SO...now we jump back several months and dive back into the process and filling out papers and then...waiting.
We've had a good many setbacks over the past month...while still feel like momentum is swinging our way. It's hard to express the ups and downs of the adoption process...just know it's hard to conduct normal routine in the throws of all that is adoption.
So there you have it.
This post isn't going to end with some incredibly inspiring news...just plugging along in the mundane...trying to trust our Father in the midst of the frustrations...knowing that He has a purpose for everything under the sun and that He alone will continue to protect and provide for these two little ones just as He's done every day of their lives thus far.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
God uses a song
I was so struck by the truth and power of the lyrics of a song this morning...I feel compelled to share.
You see, even in my best efforts to focus on Christ in worship...leading or otherwise...I find my mind drifting to things like, "wonder if I look ok today...did my voice sound good on that song...did they like my harmony...sure wish I could sing like her" No one wants to admit things like that...no one wants to even believe things like that. But if the truth be told, our pride is lurking in every corner of our mind and heart...even when we are "doing the right thing."
This morning, the Holy Spirit was going to have none of that. Thankfully.
Ps. Leonard had asked me to lead the song, Your Great Name...and even though I've sung it a hundred or so times, including our Wednesday night practice, it took root in my heart in a fresh, new way today. As I reached the second verse, I was completely overwhelmed by the lyrics coming out of my mouth. God brought to my heart the wonderful email I shared with you all from the orphanage worker...the uncontrollable distress of little C, calmed only by the mention of Jesus' name...the power and presence of the Lord completely permeating the room at the sound of His great name. (For the full email, refer back to previous post, A Voice From the Other Side of the World).
See if these words don't hold new meaning through the tears of that little girl so far away...
You see, even in my best efforts to focus on Christ in worship...leading or otherwise...I find my mind drifting to things like, "wonder if I look ok today...did my voice sound good on that song...did they like my harmony...sure wish I could sing like her" No one wants to admit things like that...no one wants to even believe things like that. But if the truth be told, our pride is lurking in every corner of our mind and heart...even when we are "doing the right thing."
This morning, the Holy Spirit was going to have none of that. Thankfully.
Ps. Leonard had asked me to lead the song, Your Great Name...and even though I've sung it a hundred or so times, including our Wednesday night practice, it took root in my heart in a fresh, new way today. As I reached the second verse, I was completely overwhelmed by the lyrics coming out of my mouth. God brought to my heart the wonderful email I shared with you all from the orphanage worker...the uncontrollable distress of little C, calmed only by the mention of Jesus' name...the power and presence of the Lord completely permeating the room at the sound of His great name. (For the full email, refer back to previous post, A Voice From the Other Side of the World).
See if these words don't hold new meaning through the tears of that little girl so far away...
All the weak find their strength
at the sound of Your great name.
Hungry souls receive grace
at the sound of Your great name.
The fatherless...they find their rest
at the sound of Your great name.
The sick are healed, and the dead are raised
at the sound of Your great name.
Sentimental...yes...but that's not the point. God used that email and the heartache it caused to remind me of my own weakness...of my own hunger...of my own sickness...of my own desperate need for a loving Father, Redeemer, Healer, Lord, Savior, Defender, and King.
God forgive me for my casual attempt at worship that so often takes place. My heart was overwhelmed this morning, and I pray that it continues to be...so that one day I will use this song to teach our new little ones about the amazing power of the name of Jesus.
Friday, July 20, 2012
A Voice From the Other Side of the World
There is very little I could say about the following email...my friend Laura forwarded it to me after wisely holding onto it for a few months. It was sent from someone who knows and cares for our little ones personally. (The asterisks are included for protection as email monitoring wouldn't allow Jesus' name mentioned).
Laura knew it would be difficult for me to read without the certainty that we'd be able to bring little C home with us...but now that it's looking very positive, she sent this treasure my way. I say "treasure" because this is another piece of the puzzle that I'll hold close to my heart...just like that precious phone call that told us the agency was going to hold C's file for us!
Read below...be prepared to be moved...and amazed again about God's presence and protection on each one of his children. He is intimately involved in every detail...no matter how small. It gives me such a deep, resonating joy to know both C and J are already being loved in the name of Christ. Overwhelmed.
dear Laura,
when i got your email i literally stopped and just stared, because this evening one of the girls brought C into my room (i have been sick and was off shift) and she was screaming and rigid and just SO upset. no one could calm her down. she needs security so very much, and if anything upsets her she is just so hard to get calm again. it's like she literally can't find anything solid or secure to hold on to. i sang to her, held her tightly, told her i loved her, told her Jes*s loves her, talked to her...nothing helped. then i just started pra ying in Jes*s name (in chinese). i asked Him to come and hold her, and comfort her heart and quiet and calm her. i asked Him to fill the room and just let both of us know He was there. and i asked Him to give C a family...a daddy and mommy who will love her and take care of her and make her feel safe and assured...and who will teach her about her Heavenly Father who loves her so much...that she will one day grow to know and love Him as her Father, and not be afraid or insecure ever again. and it was for sure the most immediate response to pra yer i've ever experienced. as soon as i opened my mouth in the name of Jes*s, C instantly stopped screaming. it wasn't a slow calming down, or even snubbing...it was just a complete stop. nothing would calm her, but HE came and calmed her heart. His peace and presence filled the room to the point where tears were just rolling down my face because i knew He was HERE. anyway, all of that had just happened and i was telling my best friend online about it when i got your email and saw that there is a family praying that she will be theirs. just had to share with you how He answers pra yer, and let you know that i am lifting up your friends and asking Him to let them be C's forever family.
wow.
Laura knew it would be difficult for me to read without the certainty that we'd be able to bring little C home with us...but now that it's looking very positive, she sent this treasure my way. I say "treasure" because this is another piece of the puzzle that I'll hold close to my heart...just like that precious phone call that told us the agency was going to hold C's file for us!
Read below...be prepared to be moved...and amazed again about God's presence and protection on each one of his children. He is intimately involved in every detail...no matter how small. It gives me such a deep, resonating joy to know both C and J are already being loved in the name of Christ. Overwhelmed.
dear Laura,
when i got your email i literally stopped and just stared, because this evening one of the girls brought C into my room (i have been sick and was off shift) and she was screaming and rigid and just SO upset. no one could calm her down. she needs security so very much, and if anything upsets her she is just so hard to get calm again. it's like she literally can't find anything solid or secure to hold on to. i sang to her, held her tightly, told her i loved her, told her Jes*s loves her, talked to her...nothing helped. then i just started pra ying in Jes*s name (in chinese). i asked Him to come and hold her, and comfort her heart and quiet and calm her. i asked Him to fill the room and just let both of us know He was there. and i asked Him to give C a family...a daddy and mommy who will love her and take care of her and make her feel safe and assured...and who will teach her about her Heavenly Father who loves her so much...that she will one day grow to know and love Him as her Father, and not be afraid or insecure ever again. and it was for sure the most immediate response to pra yer i've ever experienced. as soon as i opened my mouth in the name of Jes*s, C instantly stopped screaming. it wasn't a slow calming down, or even snubbing...it was just a complete stop. nothing would calm her, but HE came and calmed her heart. His peace and presence filled the room to the point where tears were just rolling down my face because i knew He was HERE. anyway, all of that had just happened and i was telling my best friend online about it when i got your email and saw that there is a family praying that she will be theirs. just had to share with you how He answers pra yer, and let you know that i am lifting up your friends and asking Him to let them be C's forever family.
wow.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
31 Bags Fundraiser...the results are in!
Quite a few people have asked about the recent adoption fundraiser we did with 31. My sweet friend Nichole is a consultant and offered to do a party to raise money for the kiddos!
Chris and I had already decided that we would not be asking anyone to give toward the adoption...given Chris' position at the church, we didn't want to raise any questions or conflicts concerning this process. We would never begin to criticize anyone else for doing so...it just wasn't the appropriate idea for us. We believe God orchestrated this whole situation from start to finish and are fully trusting in Him to provide the funds needed as well. It really is another overwhelming element of our adoption story, but God owns it all anyway...and this is His story.
However...we felt like this party would be a fun alternative since people would be buying things with all the proceeds going toward the adoption! All the hostess benefits and consultant commission went straight to the kids! And it was so very much fun! It was definitely unlike any home show I've ever been a part of...shopping with a purpose! :) We had yummy food and saw all kinds of cool bags and such, of course...but we also had a great time of conversation and prayer for J and C! It was a sweet time of sharing and caring...loved it.
Here's the wonderful group of ladies that were able to join us that night...many others ordered online...we are so very grateful to each one of you. (Sorry for the poor quality...I dragged Bryce down from his room to take a quick picture with my phone. There was definitely no opportunity for a re-do...he got out of there as quickly as possible!)
So...after much shifting of orders here and there, the final total raised was a whopping $1,200!!! Incredible!
Obviously, we still have a long way to go, but we are confident that God will continue to provide the funds needed...just as he's always done. We are simply trusting Him to do so.
Again, we are so humbled and grateful for all of you that have given of your checkbooks and, more importantly, your hearts to help bring these little ones into the Carr family. We love you.
THANK YOU!
Chris and I had already decided that we would not be asking anyone to give toward the adoption...given Chris' position at the church, we didn't want to raise any questions or conflicts concerning this process. We would never begin to criticize anyone else for doing so...it just wasn't the appropriate idea for us. We believe God orchestrated this whole situation from start to finish and are fully trusting in Him to provide the funds needed as well. It really is another overwhelming element of our adoption story, but God owns it all anyway...and this is His story.
However...we felt like this party would be a fun alternative since people would be buying things with all the proceeds going toward the adoption! All the hostess benefits and consultant commission went straight to the kids! And it was so very much fun! It was definitely unlike any home show I've ever been a part of...shopping with a purpose! :) We had yummy food and saw all kinds of cool bags and such, of course...but we also had a great time of conversation and prayer for J and C! It was a sweet time of sharing and caring...loved it.
Here's the wonderful group of ladies that were able to join us that night...many others ordered online...we are so very grateful to each one of you. (Sorry for the poor quality...I dragged Bryce down from his room to take a quick picture with my phone. There was definitely no opportunity for a re-do...he got out of there as quickly as possible!)
So...after much shifting of orders here and there, the final total raised was a whopping $1,200!!! Incredible!
Obviously, we still have a long way to go, but we are confident that God will continue to provide the funds needed...just as he's always done. We are simply trusting Him to do so.
Again, we are so humbled and grateful for all of you that have given of your checkbooks and, more importantly, your hearts to help bring these little ones into the Carr family. We love you.
THANK YOU!
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