Our First Journey Together

When the infamous…”that’s ‘in famous’…it means ‘more than famous” …interview was over, our guide Grace told us that the agency had been pursuing this heart attack expediting situation and wanted us to leave that same day (Wednesday) instead of the planned Friday departure. They were moving up our consulate appointment to Monday and if we were to make that work, the kids would have to have their physicals and TB testing done the following morning.

So we rushed upstairs to pack, then headed out to grab some lunch…by ourselves…no guide.  Thankfully we had pictures to point at and ended up with some pretty good food.  We laid the kids down for their first nap as their parents and waited to leave. After grabbing the notarized documents from another government agency, we headed to the airport…more than just a tad anxious about the flight with these 2 that the Father had placed in our care.

It wasn’t a good sign that the entire way to the airport, Zoe kept saying, “I want out of this car!!!”…in Chinese of course…but the message was already clear even before the translation.

Checking in took quite a long time because we told them about her heart condition so people were running to and fro (impressive phrase usage…) trying to get every waiver possible signed, blood collected from the finger pricks, and a witch’s brew concocted from a lock of her hair. Ok…extreme…went too far…I’ll leave it to you to decide where I left reality.

The kids were fine getting on and chillin with me while they ate every snack I’d brought…until it was time to fasten seat belts and sit alone. Holy cannoli. If any of you were pr*ying for us around 6:00 pm on Wednesday evening, please stop…you live in opposite land. Cease and desist immediately.

Sooooo very thankful for the flight attendants who provided some seat belt attachments that slid onto our seat belts and strapped them in tight. They were able to sit on our laps as needed. Zoe never left mine…Zane, not so much. That kid…seriously…I’ve never in my life seen anything like it. He’s amazing brilliant with an enormously mischievous side. He takes…or rips…everything apart in order to see how it works. At all times, things are flying through the air or dumping on the ground!  Then he looks at you with this crazy grin like, ”are you watching me?!?” He’s also got a vice grip so you better be committed if you’re going in on a retrieval mission.  He’ll either be a genius millionaire or end up in juvi by age 4.

Zoe was, of course, the big concern and seemed ok, for the most part. I’d turned her around to lay on my shoulder before take-off (still kept the belt on for you obsessive safety people), and when we began to taxi to lift off, she threw a death grip on my neck the likes of which Hulk Hogan would be proud.  I did the only thing I could think to do…sing. My tune of choice won’t be too impressive, but it’s the only song that would come to mind.

1-2-3 J*sus loves me

1-2 He loves you too

3 and 4 He loves you more… more than you’ve ever been loved before

            (I had a hard time getting passed this line so I just kept singing it

            until I could move on)

5-6-7 I’m on my way to H**ven

8-9 Truly divine

Now I’ve sung right up to 10. Let’s go back and sing it again.

            (and I did…over and over)

She finally fell asleep again so I did what I could with my one arm to hog tie the little varmit beside me.

Unfortunately, the word turbulence doesn’t seem to fully explain to you what we endured during that 2 hour flight, but that was indeed the word they continued to use.  I mean, seriously…when things are flying through the air and you’re using actual muscles in your body to hold yourself in place as well as the toddler on your lap, do I really need you to explain to me that we’re experiencing a bit of turbulence?!?! Dude…just get us there and land this thing.

As Zoe grew more and more agitated (which we cannot allow her to do given the heart condition), I just kept singing that same song…and pr*ying that He would spare her life and allow the plane to land safely. He did both. I’m trying not to take that for granted. My concern is now that we will have to drag her kicking and screaming on the long flight home because she will remember that flight and how scared she was.

We arrived at our hotel around 10 pm…thrilled at the sight of modern conveniences, luxury, and English-speaking guests. No joke. This place is straight-up 007. Having been “roughing it” for 4 days, yours truly was stoked to walk in to an air-conditioned room. I will seriously never take this for granted again. Every good and perfect gift…pretty sure this place was not on that list, but it truly felt like a gift...so it counts in my book.

The kids zonked out immediately…and so did their parents.  Little did we know the difficulties we’d all experience the next day…one night’s sleep was not going to be enough.

We’re famous…send all fan mail to the looney bin of SE Iowa

After the unbelievable beginning to this new children/parent relationship, it baffles my mind that we agreed to the following: “A local tv station wants to interview you about your story. Everyone knows about ChaCha’s condition, and they want to do an interview with you! Will you do it?”

Sure…why not?!?  Haha…oh my.

Turns out, it was a newspaper…probably best…ended up being a photographer instead of a videographer that would’ve captured the insanity of the interview. Was actually comical to some degree…again, mostly from my perspective. We agreed to meet in our hotel lobby...which turned out to be both a blessing and a curse…J Zoe sat ever so sweetly on my lap the entire time…even fell asleep. Zane on the other hand was in constant yelling and full speed motion mode the entire time…with “Ba Ba” (Daddy) chasing him, entertaining him, and even wrestling him to the ground when necessary. I shall use the word “often”…that covers it. Let’s just say that I answered 99% of the questions in that interview.

The reporter asked very good questions about our current family dynamic, the reasons why we wanted to adopt the kids, what will it look like once we get home, and the surgeries that await our children.  While I was careful to not say anything that would be censored, I pray the things I did say will draw the “millions” (HAHA) of readers to the One who’s completed the biggest adoption in history.  People continue to be shocked that we would set out on this journey knowing the needs of these children.  Even our guide, who we had an incredible time with in Zheng Zhou…even sharing privately why we do what we do (she said we were the first pastor/wife she’d ever had come to adopt…sad) said she didn’t think the orphanage should accept the same amount for Zoe as they do for other children…given her condition.  I interpreted that to mean, she wasn’t likely to have a normal life, if any life at all.  Pretty heavy comment.

Regardless, they were very respectful and kind and seemed to think our kids had found a good home.  Apparently we had our game faces on.  I’ve asked for a copy to be sent via email once it goes to print so I’ll be happy to share that with you when the time comes.  I know…pins and needles.

For now, any of you whom Chris has ever given a hard time to…in any capacity…just know that he “got his”, and all scores have now been forever and always declared settled.  Please apply this to all future scenarios as well…trust me.

China 4

A pleasant surprise

I’ve already shared some of our most notable moments via the previous post on things I’ve learned…check it out if you missed that one.  For now, I wanted to share some incredible moments we shared with some friends Tuesday evening.  As I previously mentioned, Tuesday morning consisted of more necessities shopping, more governmental errands until we were blue in the face, ate more noodles and dumplings, dealt with more meltdowns, and handed out more cash than Bill Gates. If you missed your place in line, come back in the next life once it’s been replenished. Oh wait…well, never mind…yea, just come back then…J

We were thrilled to hear that our long distance friend…via FB and the Kolanowski’s…was in town with her special friend J and was willing and able to take us to visit our kids’ home. We took a couple taxis over to a different side of town and stepped out into what looked like a residential area.  We found out later that the home rents an apartment in a normal apartment building and operates the foster home from there…usually 8-10 kids in an apartment with several workers.  (They want to show the nationals that it can be done…in any setting.)  I wished I had taken pictures to show the full magnitude of what we took in…mostly because it was so different than I’d expected…and our bio kids would really have wanted to see it.  My brain was just fried…and my heart was sinking…as I was told that Zoe and Zane both said, “We’re home!” as we stepped out of the cabs. I hesitated even taking them in…even after our friend went out of her way to take us…because I feared they wouldn’t want to leave with us afterward…pretty valid response given the 2 days we’d had thus far.

The kids were all excited to have us there…ours and theirs…and the workers seemed happy to see us too!  We interrupted dinner, but everyone seemed not to mind. All the children were sitting around one small table, eating their food and our kids just ran around chattering non-stop. They were excited to show us their beds and introduce us to all their friends. One of the things I’m most grateful for in our visit was seeing a different side to our wild man.  He wasn’t the same person we’d been wrestling with and chasing after the past 2 days. He was the leader!! Large and in charge.  What we thought was jabbering was actually complete sentences that he communicated quite well…if you speak Chinese…bam.  He was passing out cards to all the kids before taking one himself…just Pokemon, or whatever…and we thought he was being unkind to one of the kids because he refused to give him one.  Our friend translated for Zane, “No…that boy cannot have a card. He would eat the paper so he cannot have one!” Huh. Then he got out our snack container and showed the kids and said, “Look what I have!” J (wow.) But then he started giving each child some, one at a time.  When a boy started to take some, he raised his voice and pulled the container away. Again, we were about to jump on him before we were told he said, “Don’t reach in and grab it…I will give you some!” We even saw him tell one of the boys to ask for more using the sign language sign I’d taught him. I was astounded. He’s also insanely smart…part of him ripping things apart and pushing every boundary is him seeing what makes everything tick…including us. I realized in that visit that a good portion of his insane behavior was a “freaked out” reaction to not being in charge of his little world anymore…and not able to communicate clearly with the people who took over. Long road ahead with Mr. Man but thankful he’s not a felon in the making…at least not yet.

Zoe seemed happy to see her friends too but being the only girl, still seemed a bit detached.  I asked if the boys treated her differently than each other. “Oh my yes,” was the answer.  She was the princess. It got to the point that she would just say, “I want a drink”…and multiple boys would go running. Super.  When she snuggled up to Mommy as she grew tired of walking around, several of the workers said they’d never seen her so happy and content. Big…huge…moment for this weary momma.

I held my breath as we stood and told the kids it was time to go.  To my relief, they jumped up and said goodbye…just like that. Sigh.

I should make mention of a little buddy we met.  I’ve mentioned before on the blog some little dude kept sticking his face into the camera when we’d skype with the kids.  Remember me saying I felt as though he were someone’s child that was following our adoption journey? Well, we found out he was born with a small case of spina-something. (no medical degree here.) He had the surgery and now seems to be fine! He’s ready for your home!!! You know who you are!!! J Just follow His leading…that’s the biggest blessing of all…because He never fails.

Wait for it...China 3...

Things I’ve learned since I’ve been in China

I’m a fan of the bullet…not the gun-shooting bullet…the itemized one. So…I thought we’d start the morning with some bullets. This will prove to save time in the long run as we all know I tend to be demonstrative. Man! I’m on fire…might just bust out the “Elaine dance”!!! (You’re either remembering it now…or full-on busting a move. Either way, I’m smiling.)

*          Bullet 1: just realized I don’t know how to make a bullet. Drat.

*          We were, in fact, WRONG about the potty-trained-ness of our 3 yr olds…our first trip out was for diapers. Double drat.

*          Toddlers need naps.  How did I forget that?

*          Chinese stare at foreigners adopting nationals…threw us off to an enormous degree…and I mean…full-on stare…the jerk your neck around, bottle-necker-of-the-year award kind of stare…the go out-of-your-way-to-come-back-after-you’ve-passed-and-look-into-the-stroller kind of stare.  It was so unbelievable at one point, Chris said, “Are you kidding me?!?” out loud to one guy.  Fortunately as I’ve already mentioned, no one speaks English so we did not have an international incident.  It’s really a toss-up whether they’re not appreciating the American couple adopting “their” children…Zoe’s blue-ish extremities…or Zane’s face.  One lady told me I didn’t have enough clothes on the kids.  (You’d all die if you saw what they were wearing at the time.) Another suggested I didn’t understand what was wrong with Zoe.  One man about broke his neck looking from Zane to us and back and forth.  Regardless, as I type this, we are 4 days into walking around with     them, and it’s so blatant, Chris has started staring right back.  We best get the heck outta dodge.

*          I should’ve crystallized my passport and worn it around my neck.

*          Once you’ve submitted forms at any specific location, there’s no need to memorize it.  You’ll be back there the next day.

*          Even in Chinese, the Pizza Hut symbol is instantly recognizable.

*          Toddlers who don’t like being told “no” can stiffen their bodies in such a way that the best plankers in the world would be proud.

*          The fact that toddlers have a forgetful nature is a welcome thing on day 2 of having a mom and dad.

*          I don’t understand Chinese…no matter how many times my 3 yr olds yell it at me.

*          Air conditioning.  I love it.  I miss it.

*          Ditto on access to technology.

*          Found the secret to Chinese people being so slim and trim…chopsticks.

*          I will always smile upon remembering my husband say as he ran after our crazy man, “I’m too old for this!”

*          We did not sign up for this…but G*d had other plans and knew the days would be exactly this way.  I’m taking comfort in the truth that, with Him, all things are possible…and even profitable for my good.  It’s a hard pill to swallow sometimes…even when I know it to be the best medicine.

China 2...not very creative, I know...

WE HAVE THEM!

 

It’s hard to believe it’s been just about a year since we began our adoption journey.  Some days it seems like yesterday…others, it feels like eons….kind of like marriage. I’ve heard other people say that, of course…I wouldn’t know…we savor each and every moment of our almost 17-50 years…whatever it’s been.

 

Regardless, after a midnight arrival Sunday night (left our house at 4:30 on Friday), we found ourselves at the Civil Affairs Office at 10:00 am Monday for our “Gotcha Day.”  So many emotions…so little time…or words…or even meaning.  I’m not sure what I expected exactly, but it was something in line with bursting through the doors…our children eagerly awaiting our arrival would leap from the arms of their caregivers...would run into our outstretched arms…screaming “Mommy! Daddy! We’ve been waiting for you!!!” (in English, of course…because they’d been studying)…we’d scoop them up and ride off into the proverbial sunset.  Yea…pretty much what I’d envisioned.  I was just a bit off.  We did see some scooping up…but it wasn’t by us…and absolutely none of my other dreams came true. I blame Hollywood.

 

We sat there and watched two other families with their new children…for roughly an hour. I began to think this had all been a bad dream…until they finally walked through the door. I still thought, on some level, that the idea I had would still come true…minus them waiting for us.  After all, we’d spent time with them via skype, they were excited about us coming, they even kept asking their caregivers, “When will they be here?!?” I absolutely was not prepared to hear screaming and wailing when they handed them to us. Unfortunately, that’s what happened. No video-worthy moments we were hoping for…just heartache…on every side.  I could tell the workers were saying things like, “This is your mommy…go to your mommy…don’t cry for mommy…” Made it worse. Much worse.

 

The kids finally allowed us to hold them…still screaming…and we tried to distract them with our winning personalities. HAHA…even I just laughed out loud.  But I’m not kidding.  We pulled out our patience of Job, love of Mary, and compassion of Mother Teresa…no joke. Our own bio kids have never seen, nor would they recognize, these parents. HA…again, laughing here.  We distracted them as best we could while the government, orphanage, and our guide worked through the paperwork. 

 

Then another bomb was dropped.  They told us that Zoe had just been released from the hospital…she’d been in there for 3 days…and it was very serious…she should not travel. She would not be well enough to fly home. My stomach was in knots.  Why in the world would G*d allow us to get this far and not bring her home. It all seemed like a nightmare. We kept saying we’re taking her…they kept saying no.  They asked if we’d known about her condition before we came and seemed surprised to hear that we knew about it from the beginning and still came for her. They just kept saying it was too big of a risk for her to travel…we kept saying it’s an even bigger risk to leave her here with no possible hope of recovery. In the midst of all this back and forth conversation, we were told she’d been admitted because she wasn’t eating and was vomiting every time she put anything in her mouth…then we were told she had been admitted because she’d had a heart attack. It’s been back and forth on that ever since. Honestly, we’re grateful for the heart attack news…even if it’s possibly inaccurate…because that has caused the adoption agency to kick into high gear to rush our already-expedited case. The workers weren't sure we’d handle her medicine correctly and continued to say how vital it was. (We’ve actually adapted it to some degree so I guess they were right, but we decided rest was more beneficial than waking her up at 11:30 pm to give another dose.)

 

We were finally allowed to take them with us and thankfully, by that time, they’d warmed up to us, to some degree. Our ideas of munching on noodles and swinging at the playground all day was also trashed…we made a trip to several markets for food, toys, and strollers (yes, you heard me), talked to a pharmacist about portable oxygen possibilities, and grabbed lunch at a local noodle joint…Henan is famous for their noodles…who knew? We then added on a photo opp for the passports. The key in understanding our day is to throw in weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth to every situation…then you’ve pretty much nailed it.  Zoe wanted nothing to do with change…so anytime she had to swap parents, or any adult, she would go nuts. Contrary to our normal parenting philosophies, we’ve had to give her whatever she wants in order to keep her calm, in regard to her heart.  Zane is a wild man…W.I.L.D. He does not appreciate being told no nor denied his independence in any way.  That may sound like any toddler, but this would definitely be a first for us to this extreme.  Add in there the fact that they both gabber constantly in Chinese…which we obviously don’t understand…so they were very frustrated and upset with us.  (We didn’t think they had much of a vocabulary at this point…wrong again.)

 

We did have some funny moments…or I did at least! J Chris was pretty much assigned to Little Man duty as Zoe insisted on Mommy time.  When we were walking through the grocery store, Zane was knocking things off the shelf with his outstretched arm as Chris, holding him, walked by…cracking up at his own awesomeness.  When Daddy would put him down to try to pick things up, he would take off at break-neck speeds that would impress the best Olympian.  Our guide said on more than one occasion that the orphanage said he was “very naughty”…she just kept saying, “He’s crazy!” J Suffice it to say, watching Daddy with Zane brought the rest of us more than a few giggles.  I also had a “moment.” While we were grabbing some fruit, I kept saying “thank you” in Chinese to the workers bagging our goodies.  I thought it a bit odd the looks I was getting until I asked our guide.  Apparently the Chinese people don’t appreciate strangers asking for a kiss in the produce section. Yea. Take heed.  Regardless, with the situation with Zoe, the laughs were a welcome break…so we were grateful.

 

We spent the evening in our hotel room with the kids playing with their toys and resting. Zoe actually fell asleep on me…which was a sweet relief from the day.  We had a surprise visitor that knew the children well.  The kids were excited to see him, and we were thrilled to hear English, as well as feel encouraged by this one living in the trenches, fighting the good fight daily. He thanked us for giving Zoe  “a chance”…powerful words.

 

Being too exhausted to do much else, we had a feast of bananas and bread. Yes, Mommy had peanut butter on my banana.  No, she did not share. Some things are just going too far…further than China, apparently.

 

We ended the day with the realization that the life of the party, Zane, does not…under any circumstance…enjoy bath time.  Zoe, however, seemed completely fine. I vowed that she’ll have baths nightly…his will be optional.  The times…they are a’changin’.

China 1

I’m sitting in the Beijing airport. It’s shocking even to hear myself say that…in spite of the fact that my weary body is well aware that it left home roughly 36 hours ago…I’m sure it’s even more shocking for you to read!

As always, I’m a bit behind on things I’d want to share with you…another shocker.  Right?!? You are shocked by that, right? Crud. I’ve not been fooling any of you all these years?!?! Ah well…ya got me.  Regardless, I wanted to share with you what’s been happening these last couple of weeks since we last left our heroes. 

This is totally not what I’d plan to share, but it’s just too awesome.  Once again, our children provide us with unmatchable entertainment. Several times over this past week, we’ve had some gut-laughing moments.  We needed that. Maybe you do too…so here are just a few…

An angel gave us what I like to call “a little slice of heaven”…better known as a Red Lobster gift card.  Oh my…can you say,  “love language”? We hadn’t intentionally been saving it, but I’m so glad our schedules have been way too busy to put it to good use until now!  Between our awesome bball team returning to the State Tourney once again in Des Moines (even wearing my Danville shirt as we speak…IN CHINA…everybody knows the BEARS!) and stinkin’ snowstorms, (you heard me…no love loss there) the school schedule was significantly altered.  This was both irritating and welcoming the week leading up to our departure for China.  Irritating, because I felt like I couldn’t get anything done in between entertaining the kids and breaking up fights between them…and me…and the dog.  Welcoming, because we got unexpected time with our 4 kiddos before hitting the air to bring back 2 more! 

1) Anyway, as I said, we didn’t plan any of these things but were grateful for them in the end.  Names are once again withheld to protect the guilty. J  As we ordered at Red Lobster, one child asked, “Are the orange wedges just like potato wedges?” Silence. Then the waiter said, “They’re just like…orange wedges.” Listen…no one has ever accused our family of ooey-gooey-ness, but the sarcasm and mockery that began was pretty heavy even for our family!!! WE DIED LAUGHING! It was in a word…awesome. C’mon…ya gotta admit…funny stuff.  The waiter then took extra liberty in adding to the mockery…again…more awesomeness. When another child ordered a baked potato, he replied, “Is that like…a potato?” Terrible, awful man…how dare he? J

2) Our kids have all wanted to come to China with us to get their siblings but were told it just wasn’t going to be possible. In his disgust, Ty said, “Well then, can you get me one of those shirts that says, ‘My parents went to China, and all I got was this stupid shirt’!” I promised to do my best.

3) As independent as our children are, I found them to be quite clingy and questioning several days before we left.  When Chris was explaining the flight plan, which included flying over Canada and  “…flying over the north pole…” one of the kids burst out, “Oh my word!!! You have to take lots of pictures!!!”  More sarcasm…more mockery.

Like I said, we’ve done some good memory-making these past few days…very grateful for that.

I thought I’d take you through the last several weeks in order to better explain at least my frame of mind as I enter this next phase of the journey.  Although we had been hoping for quite some time that mountains would be moved, and this process would speed up in unexplainable ways, we were taken completely by surprise how that actually went down.  We’ve been working diligently to get paperwork, remodeling, and planning completed so we would be “ready” to bring the kids home.  I had even spent the day before in Iowa City with my wonderful friend, Michelle…shopping and doctor visiting. I had finally gotten into a specialist concerning some “unfinished business” concerning my former health issues from Indiana.  It wasn’t anything serious…just something I needed to take care of before I was caring for 2 toddlers! SO…after 4 months of waiting, I met with the doctor, scheduled what needed to be done, and informed them that the clock was ticking on my freedom…especially considering the exercise and traveling restrictions they would impose.  I even flippantly said, “Unless they call me tomorrow, we will be fine!!!” Figures.

You guessed it…bright and early the following morning, I got the phone call.  The voice on the other end said, “Mrs. Carr, I have your travel approval!” I sat there in initial shock. Obviously, this was fantastic news, but what came next was even more shocking. “You leave in 2 weeks!!!  They are expediting your case, and it’s happening very quickly!!”  BEST case scenario was traveling within 3-4 weeks…never 2! As I hung up the phone, my heart started pounding. I began to think about all the obstacles and wondered how in the world we could pull this off. I thought of my procedure that would now have to be put off for 3 months at best. My eyes scanned the rubble and chaos that was once my home but had now become a remodel disaster zone. Our kids’ schedules had to be organized. I even had to cancel a procedure for our DOG! Good grief.

I called Chris to share the good news but sounded like somebody had shot my dog and beat up my grandmother! (Have the first…he’s completely fine…don’t have the second…so calm it down.) It was obviously so incredible…yet given the issues I mentioned above, it was unbelievably overwhelming. I couldn’t keep the tears at bay…something I’ve prided myself in on many other occasions.  You name the emotion, it hit me that morning. We. Were. Not. Ready…It. Was. Not. Time.

Terrified. That pretty much sums it up…and quite frankly, the same word still applies. I couldn’t even put two words together, let alone get my act together.  Once again, Michelle the Mighty swoops in to save the day! Have I mentioned how I think she’s Super Woman?!? Well, have no fear…MM is here! (that’s not to be confused with M&M’s…which are a personal favorite…but stay focused here) She sent me a text that said, “I’m on my way.” Short and sweet. That’s all I could process anyway…and that’s what she did…just kept coming over…along with some other wonderful friends who helped in some way…work or kids or both…all Super Women to me…Nichole, Shelli, Jodi, Liz, Wendy, Carrie P., Brandy, Debbie, Chris, and Donna. Should also mention Carrie Y. and Megan, who also tried to help but my schedule just didn’t line up with theirs. Sooo unbelievably grateful for their clear-headed and generous spirit that they gave so willingly in our time of need.

At the same time, I received word that yet again, our sweet Zoe had been admitted to the hospital.  The next day, we were told that was a mistake. It was a different girl. Of course, we’d already been told that Zoe was the only girl in the orphanage. Confused yet?  It went back and forth for several days…loads of uncertainty, heaps of fear, mountains of questions…finally arriving to the point at which we began…her weakness and time being a major issue.

During the same 2 weeks…are you feeling me yet…I had a dear friend from Indiana diagnosed with acute leukemia.  She was hospitalized almost immediately and given the first dosage of chemo treatments. I knew that if I didn’t go now, I wouldn’t have any opportunity to visit and encourage her once the kiddos were with us. So, in the midst of mayhem, Peyton and I (we were the only ones with a clear-ish schedule) traveled to Indiana where we spent time with family, visited Denise in the hospital (where we once again proved that laughter truly is the best medicine J), went to another dear friend’s baby shower and celebrated another beautiful life, saw wonderful friends at Bethel, and rushed back home.

These past 2 weeks have been insane…most nights I finally laid my head on my pillow around 3 am…ate junk…drank DP round the clock…skipped my much-loved workouts…painted…organized…refereed and navigated through the high levels of emotion…and leapt tall buildings in a single bound.  I realized how out of control I was when Chris was concerned about the fact that our visas hadn’t come 2 days before departure and things of that critical nature…I was scouring the city to find the right shower curtain for the kids’ bathroom.  Yea. When MM (J) saw I was losing my grip…whatever feeble one I had to begin with…she forced me to make a list to leave with her of things left undone and gave me the gift of  “walking away.”  At this point, I have no idea what will be done when we return…and it really doesn’t matter…anything will be a bonus…so I’m resting in that.  For reals. 

Now almost exactly one year since this journey began, we sit here…in China…one short flight…just a breath of 15 hours away from holding our sweet babies. We have been chosen for a time such as this…we may never understand why…we just choose to humbly follow as we’ve been led…and will be forever grateful to have traveled this amazing journey.

The night I first heard my sweet angel's voice

I thought I'd take the opportunity to tell you about a special time we had with our babies a couple weeks ago...before the news of our long-awaited trip overshadows these precious moments.  As you know, we've had the incredible privilege of talking to our kiddos via Skype.  I cannot even put into words what an enormous blessing this has been to our family.  We have not taken that for granted. This 3rd visit was extra special because our new friend, Rebekah, was back visiting our babies at Swallow's Nest...so we were able to spend some time with her as well!

Rebekah shared with us that Zoe wanted to make sure her hair looked pretty for momma so she fixed it for her...gulp...I had to take a minute here.

I'm not sure if she just felt really comfortable with her big girlfriend there :) ...or if she truly has warmed up to her new family...but out of nowhere, we heard her tiny, sweet voice say, "Hi mommy...I love you!" I melted. Oh my goodness...seriously. How are you not losing it?!? 

Not to be outdone, Zane was being his goofy self, rarely sitting still for more than 60 seconds. Honestly, you just can't help but smile when you're watching this little dude. He is stinkin hilarious.    At one point, we noticed he was sticking his tongue out...so being the more mature one on our end, I did the same.  You can imagine the joy that gave him! :) Next thing you know, Zoe's "politely" sticking hers out! So cute...until you get home...then no more tongue sticking out. Just saying....

We loved having Rebekah there interpreting for us and began to wonder just how this whole communicating thing was gonna go down once we are face-to-face. BUT...let's just stick with our cute little "interview." 

We asked if they've been using their new names...apparently we chose the one letter the Chinese struggle to say..."Z". Super.

We found out that our mutual friend taught the Z's their abc's and counting 1-10 last year...I'd say that's a pretty good start!

We found out...under no uncertain terms...that Zane is not going to miss lunch...no matter what...another reason why he'll fit in just fine around this house. He didn't want to leave our conversation...but the food was too enticing.  I feel ya, buddy.

We also found out that Zane has a feisty nature too...if he finds himself in an altercation with another little person, he's been known to respond with a smart aleck, "well...I have a mom and dad!" Oh my. Listen little buddy...you can get away with that in China...it's against the law in the United States.

When Zoe saw Peyton in the background, she said, "Hi, big sister!" Peyton hasn't stopped telling people about that moment. :)

Overall, it was just another sweet memory that we made with our beautiful kiddos...in which they kept asking, "When are you coming?"

We're trying...sweet ones. 

Soon...very soon.