While I Was Sleeping

Tonight's title is somewhat ironic because I feel like I'm never getting enough sleep these days...always tired...can't ever catch up.  Yet somehow I'm finding myself faced with a situation this weekend that blindsided me so significantly that I'm MUST have been sleeping to let it get by me. We're talking full-on bamboozled! Floored! Slap-your-momma shocked.  Too far, I know...but roll with it.

If you live in the land of Facebook, you may have seen my post from this morning that read:

remember my "called to be a widow" mentor? Well, I'm about to "spend the weekend" with her, figuratively speaking, of course. If you're inclined to pray, please do so. God did this...without asking me! Guess He's thinking my stubborn heart needs a good swift kick! Thankful for your prayers.

Yea. No joke. So in the spirit of full disclosure, I went up and introduced myself to her this morning, confessed my stalker history, and boldly threw myself under the bus before any of you yahoos could do the honors.  Of course, there's more to the story...there always is...but we will just touch on the highlights.

I work with a team of gals (I'm sooo not qualified to use that terms, by age or culture, but I'm throwing it in, all the same.) to put on women's events at our church.  I'm usually just the comic relief or the megaphone mouth when needed.  Every now and then, they let me hum a little tune with the music team.  

SO quite a few months ago...while I was sleeping...I got an email saying we were having a women's event in October, "Called," and we needed to start hammering out the details.  No prob...call me when you need some slapstick. 

In my slumber, we began to chat and throw some ideas around, but it wasn't until my John Hancock was already on the dotted line, that I realized just exactly what I'd committed myself too.  

I was at a planning meeting when it hit me...just exactly who our guest speaker was. No stinkin' way.  I kid you not...you can ask the other leaders...I threw my hands up in the middle of the meeting and shouted, "WAIT A MINUTE! Is this Karen lady my 'Called to be a Widow' lady?!?!" 

Uh...yea.

Are you kidding me right now?!? Listen...they had to bring out the smelling salts and chocolate. Ok...just the chocolate. But there was no undoing what'd been done. I either had to put my big girl pants on or quit the church (not really, but it makes for a better story) so I just shook my head and made a note to take this up with God in a private meeting.

I even told Karen all about that this morning so don't get any ideas...esp. since I know her name now. UGH. (But don't worry...I'm pretty sure I didn't tell her mine...shhhh)  Of course, I also told her that I just about threw up this morning just thinking about listening to her again. I know...I have such a way with people. It's a gift, really.

SO...now you know. Told you I was sleeping...pretty heavily, I guess.  In all seriousness, I truly believe God appointed me to this time and this place for His purpose and plan. It was not, in any way, what I'd knowingly or willingly get myself into right now...which is why He did it...for me.  I'm not such a fool to deliberately remove myself from God's plan.  Instead, I thought I'd share with you the Scripture the Holy Spirit led me to open with tomorrow morning at the conference. Knowing what I know Karen's going to share...knowing what we've all endured in this year of sorrow...it couldn't hit closer to home.  Maybe God will speak to you through it as well.  I pray it does.

Psalm 77:1-13

I cry aloud to God,

aloud to God, and he will hear me.

2In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;

in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;

my soul refuses to be comforted.

3 When I remember God, I moan;

when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah

4 You hold my eyelids open;

I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

5 I consider the days of old,

the years long ago.

6 I said, “Let me remember my song in the night;

let me meditate in my heart.”

Then my spirit made a diligent search:

7 “Will the Lord spurn forever,

and never again be favorable?

8 Has his steadfast love forever ceased?

Are his promises at an end for all time?

9Has God forgotten to be gracious?

Has he in anger shut up his compassion?”Selah

10 Then I said, “I will appeal to this,

to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”

11 I will remember the deeds of the Lord;

yes, I will remember your wonders of old.

12 I will ponder all your work,

and meditate on your mighty deeds.

13 Your way, O God, is holy.

What god is great like our God?