Another One Bites the Dust. Tonsils. It's Just Tonsils...For Now

 Welcome back to The Carr Ride. I mentioned the "bumpy roads" when you jumped in so I'm sure none of this will surprise you...so here we go. When I intentionally delayed in sharing news on big man's latest surgery...that's 11, if you're counting...I was waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. What I didn't realize what a whole Shoe Carnival would be dropping...on my head. No, for real.

On October 11th of last year, Zane went in for a routine tonsilectomy/adenoidectomy, due to the incredibly large size of his tonsils, snoring, and lack of restorative sleep. But as is usually the case, nothing ever quite goes as planned for Z. Dr. K (original surgeon that has been navigating his healthcare since arriving in the states almost 10 years ago) had stated that they just never know what they'll find when they take him into surgery and decided she should at least double check for any obstructions or issues, since he was already going to be under anesthesia.  You'll remember that Dr. K was the one who found an entire pencil eraser up Zane's nose during his first surgery...that supposedly he did NOT put in there. Man...we've got to beef up security at our place. Crazy eraser-poppin' people are just plain menaces to society. Any-hoo...she'd no more gotten him back and put under than she called us from the OR. She said although she still thought the tonsils/adenoids should be removed, it would not solve his issues completely.

Because...as you can guess...they found another problem.

Of course they did. 

To understand fully, you'd have to remember a few surgeries ago/few years ago, Zane had a jaw surgery to create somewhat of a temporary solution to the lack of a right mandible. At the time, they sliced open his jaw and inserted a crank (that extended out of his neck) that we had to crank daily to create space into which bone would grow. It was an absolute blast. :/ Side note: you'll also remember that when I asked what happens if/when the crank falls out of his neck, I was told, "It's not possible." Ok then. And yes, of course it did. So, a second surgery was done to reinsert the crank. This was all done to give the right side of his face some temporary structure, but the ultimate plan would be to do another jaw surgery once Zane is done growing (roughly 18 yrs. old), when they'll match the new jaw to the left jawline. 

Back to the phone call from the OR. Dr. K said that basically Zane's tongue is too big for the current size of his jaw. Maybe some of you anatomy gurus already knew this...wait...do anatomy gurus read the Carr Ride?! Hmmm...I'll assume no one here falls into that category and proceed accordingly. SO apparently, the mandible is responsible for "holding the tongue in his place," among other things. For all practical purposes, Zane doesn't have a large enough bone on the right side to keep his tongue under control. (ahem...) Here's the problem...when Zane is sleeping, his tongue is rolling back (unconstrained by a right mandible) and closing off his airway. Yea so...I guess that's not good. This is likely the bigger cause for his sleeping issues...obviously. The plan was to let him heal up and proceed with a sleep study so we can see exactly what we're dealing with.

We tried to have him sleep with a tennis ball behind his back so he wouldn't roll over to that right side...but this gave him all sorts of back pain. Then we tried to have him sleep propped up...but he moves so much because he keeps NOT BREATHING. Ugh. And the sleep study? Scheduled last November...for May. Good. Grief. So...we just pray and trust in God's protection. 

Once the sleep study happens, all of Zane's surgeons (Oto, Ears, Jaw, Ortho, Endo) will be gathered to discuss the best way to move forward. Does Z get a CPAP or do we push up the jaw surgery to fix the problem, knowing we will likely have to do a 4th jaw surgery once he stops growing, or do we come up with some other bandaid for now? 

But while we're on the "can't seem to catch a break" portion of our story time, I might as well mention that when we went in for the post-op appt in November, they decided to take a look in the ears, as they are prone to do, just to make sure everything stays healthy in the "good ear" and clear in the "new ear." In short, Dr. K was attempting to remove some hardened wax very near the ear drum in the new ear. When she tried to do so, she realized that the prosthetic stapes bone that Dr. Hansen placed last year was protruding from the ear drum...the body rejecting a foreign body, as can commonly occur. The wax was holding it in place. Sorry, but it's true. Sadly, there is no way to salvage this and will have to be redone. We went back for another visit with Dr. H to see how to proceed. He's reluctant to do anything at the moment for a meager 20%-max hearing increase. Chris and I have definitely noticed a decrease again in Zane's hearing, so it's set him back for sure...but Dr. H doesn't want to put him back under just for that. SO...next time Zane is under for whatever is next in line, Dr. H will go back in and place a new stapes bone, and we'll try again. 

Lastly, we also recently visited Endocrinology to see if there's anything we're missing in regard to weight and height gain. It was not without its moments, but we will check back with them in 6 months.  There are some concerns, but nothing urgent.

Dear Lord...actually, that's it. All we can do is call on the unshakeable and unmistakable name of the Almighty. May His sovereign hand continue to guide and shape this young man...and his parents/siblings...for His glory and our good. 

Nowhere to Go...No Place to Be

 Hello world. Long-lost pals. Persons who accidentally clicked on the bright, shiny link. Welcome. 

There are sooooo many things/events that need updating from the Carr Ride, but I'm going to move off the beaten path once again. As these fingers reunite with the keyboard, I feel compelled to address an overall struggle for yours truly these past few months...ok, real talk...more like past several years. In full disclosure, I started this post literally TWO YEARS AGO, and man, oh man...I was getting hit on all sides by the master manipulator so I gave up and set it aside, convinced of all the things I am acknowledging today as false. Yet you see who came out on top that day.

*crickets*

My initial compulsion to share some thoughts on this topic stemmed from our preaching series at the time about the body of Christ and, specifically, the local church. Once the PASTOR (you know who you are) literally called me on the carpet in one of those sermons, I thought it was time. 

SIDEBAR: Yes, I've been mulling over this for a while. Sermon points that are directly pointed at spouses should not be allowed. Ok, Chris Carr...I see you. Sheesh. If hash tags were fitting in a blog post, you might insert these here: #stepoffpreacher #spousalprivilege #lifelongsermonillustration 

Getting back to the matter at hand, the simple and specific gut check was this: every member of the body of Christ is indispensable. It's not as though 1 Corinthians 12 was eye-opening news to me, at the time. But truthfully, it is something I've been struggling with over the past several years or so.

 Thoughts like these have been rolling through my mind:

What do I have to offer now...

Nobody wants to hear anything I have to say...

Where's my place in the church...

The stuff I've always been "good at" are no longer being used...

Where do I fit in...

And, again...I seem to have nothing to offer.

But WAIT...aren't you the PASTOR'S WIFE?!? Yep! Aren't you a PK too? For sure. Is life still full of heartache and struggles and confusion? Absolutely. 

Honestly, I hesitate to even go there because I have found over the years that people aren't always comfortable hearing the truth. But why...why do we WANT to wrestle with grief, fight with our own sins, struggle with relationships, isolate ourselves in the midst of heartache?!? How is this the way we choose to live when we call the Creator of the universe our Abba Father? When the very One who holds our lives in His hands commanded us to live in communion with one another, why do we choose to walk alone through heartache...as if it's a badge of honor to do so. I submit a couple well-known passages of Scripture for your memory verse attention.  :)

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10 "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" 

James 5:14-16 "Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

(Bonus points for checking these out as well...Romans 12: 4-5, Romans 15:5-6, Galatians 6:2, Colossians 3:16, Hebrews 3:13, Hebrews 10: 23-24, 1 Peter 4:8, 1 John 4:11-12)

So I'm here for the yuck. I'm here for the shock. I'm here to be the first step-taker. 

Back to the matter at hand...I'm here to say it's sometimes difficult to just keep taking up space. It's difficult to not feel as though there's a place for you. I'm here to admit that just because you're gifted in a certain way does not always mean there will be someone to acknowledge that gifting or recognize any way that you can use that gift for the Kingdom of God. 

*deep breaths...you good?

Lest you think the entire gist of this post is to vent frustration, let me bring this home with some personal realizations that the Spirit has graciously given me over the course of this past year or so.  First of all, I totally STINK at all the things I've been pressing your way this entire time...like, I am legit the worst offender when it comes to baring my soul and inviting others to walk in the Eva-mire. I feel like that must be said as my close friends and family will 100% call me on it anyway...so there's that. Secondly, there have been some pretty dark and discouraging days as I've wrestled with the lies of Satan that the few ways I've always served the church/others were the only places God could ever use me. But, most importantly, I'm beginning to see that there are seasons of ministry, just as there are seasons to every other facet of our lives. There are areas that I've begun to tiptoe into now that I simply could not have approached 10-15 years ago. So while I somewhat "grieve" the perceived loss of previous opportunities, I am so greatly encouraged, to the point of overwhelming promise, about what lies ahead. Maybe that's the reason God allowed me to wrestle with the yuck for the past couple years...so I'd see His hand and trust His heart in what I thought I was doing for Him all along. 

So thankful that you've hung in there with me through this long process, and I pray for you to also trust that God is able, and desiring, to use you right where you are...not where you were 10 years ago...or even last year...but right where you are, right now. Maybe we need to stop trying to force God's hand...stop trying to shove Him into the ministry box that we've created...stop wishing away for the good ol' days. Hang on...that may all just be me. Or maybe not. 

Pretty Weeds and the Lies They Tell

You're not allowed to say "HATE"! I mean, this is like parenting 101, right?!? At the very least, the "H" word doesn't belong in the mouth (or heart/mind...I see you, Jesus) of a Christian. I mean, feel free to come at me about this, but I said what I said...so here it is. 

I HATE weeds. I know some of y'all were calling the preacher...oh wait...never mind...he already knows. Actually, since it's not ENTIRELY awful, the rest of y'all are already sitting back in your comfy chairs, thinking this is just the queen of the Carr Castle going off on one of her tangents again. But hang tight...she's hoping to make you not so comfy here pretty soon. 

A few weeks ago, I decided my flower beds needed some attention. It had been a hot second since I'd last pulled weeds and checked on the transported flowers we moved earlier in the summer. Lest you jump in too early, I had delegated the watering of said flowers to the only child who was sitting at home every day this summer...we won't waste time elaborating how that went. On an unrelated note, the Carrs will need to purchase new perennials for next year. :/ 

So in spite of my old age...taking the power out of insults, one tragic truth at a time over here...I set about to clear the gardens of the enemy. Now listen, I'm fully aware that the weeds/sin metaphor has been preached to death, so to speak, by every Billy Graham and Chris Carr (you're welcome, dear) from here to kingdom come. There's nothing new under the sun, am I right?!? So I'm not coming to you with any ground-breaking news here...or am I, as Zane likes to say. (Incidentally, I had to literally BAN him from saying that last year, because it was making me lose my actual mind. But I can use it here because I'm the mother. Whatever.)

You see, I've heard my entire life that sin is like weeds. You've got to stay on top of it so it doesn't choke out the good plant/truths. Your little flower just can't grow to its fullest and most beautiful if the roots of weeds are choking it and stealing the nutrients. Yada, yada, yada...for sure...all true...and I get it.

But that day in the gardens, I noticed something new. Pretty weeds. Weeds that flower. Weeds that had a unique leaf design. Weeds like looked much like a gorgeous crawling vine. Pretty weeds that still had roots that were choking out my flowers. Pretty weeds that had spread so much that it was difficult to decipher between them and the planted flowers. And you know what thought crossed my mind? Maybe I'll just leave those. After all, they really are...pretty. I wondered if it really were such a big deal to just walk away and not pay attention to those.

Make no mistake, I went full-boar on the ugly menaces. No mercy for the aggravating and irritating suckers. Ripped out with a vengeance. 

But the pretty weeds...the ones that potentially were "adding beauty" to my garden...might just leave those. Do they still have roots that are choking out my plants? Absolutely. Will they slowly and steadily kill my flowers? Also, yes. BUT they look better than the ugly weeds soooo...hesitation led to doubt. How bad could they be?

Surely, you see where I'm going with this. It's not rocket science, as the old people say. (I'm painfully aware of the theme here.) But I'll say it, nonetheless. The pretty weeds are potentially more dangerous because I plainly fail to see their danger. I can go ninja on the obvious weeds that so torment me and still end up with a struggling and dying garden because I didn't address the weeds that didn't look so ugly. This is our Christian life. 

It's all too easy to try to avoid the BIG sins...you know, the most blatantly obvious sins we should denounce as believers. (I won't list because I don't want anyone to get lost in comparing lists...you know who you are.) Yet, here's the point, we can all-too-easily let other issues slide because it doesn't look quite as bad as adultery, for example. Some of our "issues" even seem fun and no big deal. And still, what is happening?!? Our pretty weeds are still choking out the blooms that the Lord is cultivating in our lives. We fail to do the hard things about our "acceptable sins," and so we choke and gasp and stumble along, hoping everyone will just see what's pretty...and not notice the lack of depth and fruit and growth. 

So where does all this lead us? I think it must lead to more self-examination and a healthy dose of honesty. Some of us are completely blind to the health of our gardens because we've gotten rid of the ugly weeds, yet the root of the invisible or pretty weeds continue to choke the life out of our plants. We must be honest with ourselves about our acceptable sins, those pretty weeds, in order to begin to take steps to do the hard things. As the old proverb says, "Don't water your weeds," because what you water...will grow. 

There it is. Maybe it feels equivalent to rocket science after all, given the level of difficulty it will take to accomplish this mindset. Maybe it was so obvious to you that you wish you had the last 5 minutes of your life back. Who knows where you land, but please know that many Christians find themselves squarely in the middle...often unaware, frequently in denial, even sometimes hardened to their own pretty weeds. So as in all of life, we need to move forward in truth and grace, both with others and ourselves. 

How 'bout those pretty weeds in the gardens at the Carr Castle? I'll say this...very little grace was involved in their removal. Once God pressed this little epiphane on my heart, I couldn't very well walk away. Call it an assault, call it warfare, but yea...the pretty weeds were yanked out as well. In full disclosure, guess what I thought in the immediate aftermath?!? AFTER this little analogy was pressed onto my mind by the LORD! Hmmm...maybe I shouldn't have taken those out...it looks too empty and boring now. Sigh...back to the drawing board...more work to do on the gardener...but still, steps were taken. Steps toward growth and depth and health. I'd call that a good day of yard work. 

SURGERY #10, part 2

 Hard to believe there's more to our story after the last blog post, but I'm popping back on here to give the remaining surgical update. This will be much shorter...promise. For real. I really do.

After another 5 hours, Dr. Owen came to meet us with an update of his own. I'll attempt to summarize again, for sake of simplicity. 

First, Dr. Owen made a vertical incision on the back right side of Zane's head, stretched the skin forward, and moved it behind the ear to attempt to bump it out. He also added a double layer of skin graft to same location for extra "padding." Then he braced it with that same pink foam from his prior surgeries and stitched it to his head again. (Z will be so not happy about that last part...at all. The doc should never have promised Zane he wouldn't need to use it...because y'all know good and well that Zane will never let him live this one down.)

Secondly, he took cartilage from his left ear to add to the right lobe and also took more skin grafts from the groin to cover that. The lobe is a little more square than he’d like but hopefully it fixes itself as it "shrink wraps" or it will be an easy tweak later. Incidentally, our impression of the skin grafting was that it would be minimal this go-round, and while I'm sure that is true, relatively-speaking, we were pretty surprised to see the incision looking pretty angry, hip-to-hip again. Bummer. That was definitely the largest amount of pain for Zane last time so we will just be praying for quick relief there. 

Third, we also thought incorrectly about the tragus, assuming he still had to build it completely. However, Dr. Owen said that he’d previously placed cartilage for the tragus in an earlier surgery, but it hadn't stayed where it was supposed to be. So today, he pulled it back toward ear canal more and stitched it there to keep it in place. Hopefully, it will obey. 

Lastly, Dr. Owen did have to leave a single drain tube like that first surgery a few years ago, when he had 3 different drain tubes. He said there was just too many things going on to not give it some more time to drain out. And so, of course, that means we’re staying overnight. This is one of those, "barring any significant complications," that would keep us from indeed having an OUTPATIENT surgery. For the love. If I had a dollar for every time...but yea, we all packed a bag anyway because Carr fam jam. Still, we should be able to break out tomorrow morning as soon as that drain tube is removed.  

The recovery outlook is bleak in Zane's mind, of course, but we're trying to see all the positive. He will need to lay pretty low for a couple days, so he's excited about significantly more screen time and the wait staff. 

As I mentioned, he's got the pink foam on the ear, covered yet again with the Glascock dressing...also known as the cone from..."not a nice place." :/ He'll have to continue to wear that for at least the first couple weeks until we have the post-op for Owen. Hansen's post-op is usually a month, but we're primarily watching for extreme dizziness. Little man will have to forego outside recess and pe for the next month or more, as well as no trampoline. Wait...what...ugh. The skin grafting and cartilage harvesting areas just have skin glue and are open beyond that. 

Whew. That was the simplified version. He's already back to being...Zane. One of the residents was trying to check his vision by having him follow his finger. At one point, he failed to do so and kept looking forward...at his movie. Before the doc freaked out, I got onto Z to follow the instructions. He dryly said, "I am. I'm multitasking." :/ And THEN, when the floor nurse asked him to rate his pain, he said 9. Hang on, dude. Roll with me here. About 45 minutes ago, you said it was a 5, and you've had pain meds. Your pain went UP after the meds? I'm grilling him about his responses, while the nurse is trying to make sense of things and record notes, and then he finally says, "Mom, I was just being dramatic." Good grief...on steroids. Matter of fact, can I get some medication over here?!? Sheesh. 

Unfortunately, no update to give on the hearing of the right ear. It's packed pretty well in there and was mucho groggy until just recently. So we'll know more in the days ahead...but definitely once all the packing comes out.

On a final note, be sure to stay in the hospital long enough for someone else to clean up the projectile vomit. Done and done. Good thing he said the chicken Alfredo was terrible and only took a tiny bite...because holy spew-fest, Batman. You're welcome. You'll thank me some day. 

SURGERY #10: THE MAC DADDY OF THEM ALL

Well heeeeeeey there...it's been awhile...again. As I scrolled back through to check on my last Zane-update, I realized I say that a lot...too much..."it's been awhile." In my defense...pandemic quarantine was...well, in a word...busy. We had 9 people living in our house, a graduation, a wedding, and just well...it's been chaos. Mind you, this is my kinda busy...lovin' every minute of it...Chris, not so much. More on all the other happenings in life at the Carr Castle will have to be another time. :/ We get it...your life is more organized...that's why people enjoy visiting the circus, not living in it. And yet, here we are. Any whoooo...

I wanted to bring you all up to date on Zane, the surgery king. It's hard to believe that in his 12 short years, he's had 10 surgeries. Yes, he wants to compare to his mother's and see who wins. Yes, it's him. No, I'm not going to tell him. I have to have something, people. Let me have this one thing. 

Regardless, when we last left our little hero, he was waiting to grow and mature some in order to make the decision whether to proceed with the inner ear surgery that could possible restore  hearing to the new ear (guess I should actually use a better word here than "restore" since he's never had hearing in this ear, but you feel me). Primarily, the reason being that this surgery came with significant risk of permanent hearing loss. At the time, we were told we could at least get Zane fitted for an in-ear or over-the-ear hearing aid, as a temporary bandaid or potentially a permanent solution, should we choose not to have the stapedecotomy. 

Just to cover my info-sharing basis...after multiple visits to the hearing aid clinics and the big wig surgeons, we hit a complete standstill. The clinicians that actually make that work said that Zane's ear canal wasn't shaped properly/normally so as to fit a hearing aid. Yea...the ear canal that didn't even exist before that time. The big wig doc insisted that the clinic should make it work. The clinic said the doc should've shaped it better. :/ So then we tried for an over-the-ear option. But the clinic said his ear didn't bump out enough to hold the device...you remember the ear that was built from composites and covered with his own skin?!? The other big wig doc said they could make it work. Again, the clinic said nope...you need to shape it better. :/ :/ Double yikes. No bueno. After we went back and forth a couple times, we realized that all the eggs would likely need to be in the Stapedecotomy basket. Also, if you've been around for many of these road trips on the Carr ride, you'll recognize the name of Dr. K. She was our first intake doc when we first arrived on the steps of the Otolaryngology Clinic back in 2013. She not only performed that first surgery for the side cleft but has continued to guide Zane's overall care since. I bring her up now because in a checkup visit this past February, she again brought up the wearing of the old Baja hearing aid on the head strap. She explained that new research has shown that the advice they'd given patients/families like ours, all these years, had been incorrect. She said that the "single-eared" kiddos actually are suffering long-term by not having the benefit of their "surround-sound"...suffering academically, socially, and career-wise. These kids actually don't even realize what they're missing out on, which shows itself in poor job performance, poor academics, and difficulty in social situations. No longer was she going to say as long as he had one healthy ear, he'd be just fine. That's just not accurate anymore. 

SO...we began to try to have Zane wear the Baja, with the glasses, with the mask...it went really well. 

When the opportunity came to start discussing this next surgery, we did so with urgency and confidence that we needed to proceed. We were pleasantly surprised to hear that medical advancements since we last discussed the surgery would provide another possibility if this doesn't work. You'll remember that Dr. Hansen had told us the risk of permanent hearing loss should something go wrong...so an "option B" possibility was all the more reason to not delay. In the meantime, Dr Owen said he would like to try to again address that stubborn earlobe and bump out the ear, which have seem to conquer his best efforts in the 3 previous surgeries. He'd also build up that tragus since he was in there.  

Aaaaaand so now...here we are. Zane would rather never have another surgery. Duh. BUT we've been talking with him about being on "Team Zane" since that fateful discussion with Dr. K, back in February...trying to get him to think about 20 year old Zane and what will improve his quality of life...and make decisions for his long-term good! Those are hard conversations with our bigs...you can only imagine what we're asking of from him, in all his Zane-ness. :) But every now and then, he catches it...even if he didn't come up with it on his own. Baby steps. Some days we're crawling..."buuuuut...hey!" (Zane's favorite new retort fits well here.)

Thankfully, I've already got an important update to share, even as Mr Z is still in surgery at this moment. We met with Dr. Hansen just a little bit ago as he went first and had the "easier" portion, time-wise. In short, here's what he shared with us:

Actually part of the stapes bone was missing, and the footplate was what was fixed. It was actually so thick, they couldn’t get a laser to break through. They had to drill  a small hole in that. Then they attached a prosthetic to the 1st hearing bone and positioned it through the drilled hole in that foot plate. So the vibrations should pass straight through to the ear drum now. He said it went as good as it possibly could, everything looks great, and he’s super optimistic that Z will be able to hear from that ear now. The canal has held, and there doesn't seem to be any scarring from previous surgeries so there's nothing standing in the way.

Friends. It worked. It stinkin' WORKED!!! It's packed for now so sound will be muffled, but he should be able to HEAR that it's muffled!! The mighty hands of God are overwhelmingly powerful, and His patience with those of us whose foundation is shifting sand is humbling. 

We covet your prayers as Zane goes through this low-key, low-activity recovery process...

Lord Jesus, please let him be able to eat solid foods. Signed, your super-weak servant, Mother of the Year.

...but we remain trusting in the promises of God to walk with us in the storm and so thankful for His goodness, faithfulness, and compassion to our family. Bless the Lord, o my soul.

What Did She Do THIS Time?!?!

I think it's about time to update those that don't know...since the next time anyone sees this little ray of sunshine, she'll be on crutches. Yea...sooo...In the latest episode of, What Did She Do THIS Time? And like all mothers are prone to hear, the response would loudly be...

IT WASN'T ME!!!

I'll give you the much-abbreviated version as I'm currently awaiting my limo ride back to the OR. :/  I'm heading back to have hip surgery...not a replacement...sheesh, how old do you actually think I am?!? Don't answer that. But again, sticking to the bare bones here...my right hip (you know the hip...the cracked pelvic bone hip...the football-player-tackling torn tendon hip...the Bryce-pregnancy-random leg giving out hip...yea, that one) started giving me a lot of grief (translated mega-pain) last May or so. Buuuuttttt, I had a grad party to plan...and then quarantining with 9 people...and then a wedding...you feel me?! So in July/August, I started the process of trying to figure out what was going on through X-rays, PT, even did POOL PT...youngest one in the pool, thank you very much. Finally, an October MRI revealed a large laberal tear and a large para laberal cyst, which was also compressing the nerve. Surgery was necessary, but it was January before a surgeon could see me. Thanks Covid. Plus, Chris said I couldn't have the surgery in November anyway...big shout out to Bambi...nice...and it would've been no bueno during the holidays with our whole crew coming home...so here we are. 

I saw the docs at Mayo on January 12th. They wanted to do the surgery on January 15th. Ummm...nah. Eva's a busy gal. It's gonna take me a hot minute to shut down my life, Doc. Plus, I decided it would be best to finish Large Group Speech season before getting laid up. As it is, Sweeney graciously agreed to step in and help me with Individual Speech...so never fear, the show WILL go on! :) 

Incidentally, I had planned to also see the docs at the U since it was so much closer/easier. Although I felt really comfortable with Mayo...I mean, it's Mayo...I still thought I should try the U. However, my dad's death and subsequent funeral, forced me to cancel my appointment in Iowa City. I took that as confirmation to follow through with Mayo because in typical Eva fashion, I was praying that God would close one of the doors...that He did. 

Regardless, in regard to the specifics of the surgery, they will go in with three arthroscopic scopes to accomplish the tasks (another reason I wanted to come to the big wigs). They'll repair the tear by using some special "anchors" that actually are a bio-composite that will eventually turn into bone. Whoa. Then they remove the cysts, and also shave down the bone that has been tearing the laberal over the course of many years. SO...see...I'm completely innocent of any wrong-doing here...the Eva-factor had zilch to do it this time around. 

Biggest gripe in my book, non-weight bearing for 4-6 weeks...no driving. Bleh. Who's got time for that nonsense?!? 

Ain't nobody, I tell ya. Nobody

Some interesting info: we've got ourselves a classic chicken/egg situation here. Since it's likely that the bone has been like this since I stopped growing...7th grade, in case you're hung up on useless trivia...it's unclear whether all my injuries to the right hip were caused by these pre-existing weaknesses or whether the weaknesses were made so much worse due to the traumatic injuries. Classic chicken or the egg. But most importantly...IT WASN'T ME! 

UPDATE: not sure how you can update what never was published, and yet, here I am, doing just that. My best friends (if you've ever had a surgery, you know who) came to wheel me back before I was able to publish this post, but I WAS just going to say that it was supposed to be 1.5 hr outpatient surgery! But...Eva...so that turned into a 3 hr outpatient surgery...which then turned into yet another Eva-saga...same song, different verse. The good news is that everything has been dealt with, even the tear was worse than they initially thought. However, LOOOOONG story but to sum it up, its debatable again the cause...but I ended up being admitted last night because I couldn't come out of anesthesia (common problem for me), but every time I'd drift back off, I'd stop breathing...kind of frowned upon here at Mayo. Then I couldn't swallow which also made me keep freak out because I couldn't breathe. And then apparently I passed out or had a stroke, whatever...gonna go with the former. So they moved me over to the main hospital and kept me in PACU, trying to monitor me, with the hopes of still going home. After an hour of more of the same, they admitted me to a room...where I remain at this time. so friends...yep...that about sums it up. Never straight-forward...never easy...but hey...also never boring!!!

Ode to a Precious Friend

Well, hello there, my long-lost blog buddies! I come to you today with a renewed purpose and a dash of life-changing news. Although there are so many things I'd like to update you on, and I do plan to do so with more frequency now...today, I want to simply recognize and  honor a person that I hold near and dear to my heart. Guess I should admit I won't be actually writing a beautiful piece of poetry,..an "ode," as it were...this will just be me trying to pay tribute to someone I treasure deeply. 

SO, although she will be less than thrilled with all the attention, I want to shine a light on Kim LaFauce. Some of you may know her as KimAnne of KimAnne Photography...some may even know her Kimmy! :) Sorry...couldn't help it, Kim. :) 

To start with the life-changing news...as of the new year, I will no longer be calling KimAnne Photography my home away from home. Since May of 2017,  I've spent the majority of my time at the studio, when I wasn't at family, church, or school activities. However,  Chris and I both feel like God is leading me down a different path. Not an easier or better path...unless it's Opposite Day, as Zane likes to say...much to my aggravation. Have I banned him from declaring Opposite Day. Why, yes...yes, I have. Lines must be drawn. This may be the hill I die on. But I digress. 

My different and difficult path includes subbing at the kids' school, coaching speech teams, potentially revisiting an old love of event-planning, making time for our significant shift in family dynamics (with our family of 9 pared down to 4, I needed to be more available for Zane and his school schedule), and opening up larger blocks of time for writing. I'm seem to be very good at filling up every crevice of time to avoid bearing my soul via my writing. God continues to legit harass me that He has other plans. :/ OK, yes, I hear you. But still, I'm trying to chuck the stubbornness and follow His lead. *sighs*

Getting back to the topic at hand...my Kim. :) There are so many incredible reasons that I've truly loved working at KimAnne. When I first started, I wanted to find something to do that would allow me to contribute to our growing financial needs: our oldest child was about to head off to college, with the others following not far behind. But that simple reason quickly grew into a profound love for the whole studio staff, our precious clients, and primarily for the most amazing boss. I absolutely LOVED being at the studio and playing just a small part of the capturing of such precious family moments and milestones. There has never been a more grace-filled, loving, super-fun, and compassionate work environment...and that all stems from Kim herself.

When I talked with Kim the beginning of the school year to tell her of my new plans, I tearfully yet truthfully told her the hardest part of leaving would be not being involved in her life as much as I've been these past 3.5 years. I treasure every moment, both professionally and personally, that I've been able to share with this incredible woman. 

Probably the most precious thing I value in this wonderful soul is her love for her Saviour, and her mission to treat every person with dignity and grace, love and sincerity, selflessness and honor. That's what I've seen played out in the life of Kim these past 3.5 years...and no doubt how she's run her business since it began...because that's just who she is. When you first meet Kim, you might think...is she for real? Is she really that sweet?!? Well, friends, the answer is a resounding YES! 

2020 was a difficult year for the world. It was an especially difficult year for Kim as well. But through it all, she trusted in God's goodness even when she couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Heartache and despair threaten to undo us in these dark days, but if we all had a spark of Kim's positive and encouraging attitude...just a pinch of her sweet character...just a tiny dab of her unending transparency and  compassion...then we will all come out stronger and better for it.

She's not perfect. None of us are. But she reflects the heart of Jesus so brightly in an ever-darkening world, and I have no doubt that she will one day hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant." 

This is Kim LaFauce...my boss, my sister, my friend. I will forever treasure the time spent with you and our wonderful studio as some of my most precious memories. I love you dearly.